Countdown,

It's New Year's Eve , getting ready for the countdown tonight. All the memories are kept inside , all the regrets are pushed aside. Learn from our mistakes and cherish all the memory we've made. It's a brand new chapter in this book, so let's refresh everything with a new goal :) As time pass by we will age , let's have fun before it's too late. Friends come and go, but true friends stay as the rivers flow :) Happy New Year everyone <3

Soul shining through ,

"Feels like I have always known you, and I swear I dreamt about you. All those endless nights I was alone. It's like I've spent forever searching, now I know that it was worth it. With you it feels like I am finally home. Falling head over heels, thought I knew how it feels. But with you it's like the first day of my life. Cause you leave me speechless, when you talk to me, you leave me breathless. The way you look at me. You manage to disarm me. My soul is shining through, can't help but surrender my everything to you. I thought I could resist you, I thought that I was strong. Somehow you were different from what I've known. I didn't see you coming. You took me by surprise and you stole my heart before I could say no."

Surprisingly, after all the pain you put me through and all the betraying you've done, i still like you. Alot. Maybe i've been spending too much time with you lately. But it hurts that you're still into her. Although she's my bestfriend. I don't know how to stop this feeling , but i want to , i really do. And i need to find a way , fast before i get hurt again. Please oh please, tell me there's a way. Other then breaking the friendship , i really need to get over this feeling that i have for you ;(

Brain Freeze ,

Hello (: 30th December , the day all PMR candidates 2008 got their result. Tears of joy and tears of regret. I was on my way back from lunch with my parents, when suddenly Weyna called, and i picked up she was screaming and yelling " b b ! i dapat 8 A !!! " I was shocked plus happy for her , no words could describe how i was feeling. All i knew was i HAD to meet her , i want to , i need to ! So yeah i called her dad and he agreed to send her :) Around 4 something she arrived here , and fooled around in my room. Then at 6 something our dad's wanted to go for a drink and so we followed. They went to Hakim and we went to Khulafa which is just a few blocks away. Arrived at Khulafa , bought Marlboro 20 and went upstairs to meet Zakwan. Unexpectedly , he brought more then just Eddie :s Yeahhh , who ever they were , i had no idea -.- Crapped alot with them and smoked , then we had to go back. Went back and i was sad she had to leave :/ but then Tyka called asking to come to Sunway, so we gave a shot and asked our dad's to come along with us to Sunway and play bowling . Shit , we failed. Suddenly , Weyna's dad asked " Nak tidur sini ke ? Esok papa ambik pukul 10 " cause me and my family was suppose to go to Perak at 12. So she just nodded excitedly. Then around 9 , my whacko brother took us out to Pelita :) There we met Eddie , Zakwan and Zawir. Then i called up Mush so he came. We played a stupid game which was suppose to be Truth Or Dare but then how the hell did it change to this stupid 3QuestionGame -.- They gave the stupidest UNlogical mental question ever. Laughed alot till i had to run to the toilet and pee . Bahaha. Around 12 , we left Pelita and so did everyone. We went to Tembok and met up Mamak , Hanafi , and Anip (: Took pictures , blabla and head home. We watched College right after we changed to our jammies . Then around 2 something , i got a random call from Megat -.- Ajak lepak Pelita lah katanyaaaa ;p I said i just got back and he was saying i'm poyo and stuffs. Then , i talked to my brother and he let me off. We invited them to hang out at my house , just at the porch though. So Megat, Kery and Mush came. They were fucking noisy. First they were whispering , but then we couldn't stop laughing till i rolled on the floor. Took lots and lots of candid pictures :D Megat and Mush mangsa , bahaha too bad boys. Till 4 smthng , they went back. Me and Weyna went upstairs , uploaded pictures and went to bed. FUCKING TIRED WEH :/ Oh did i mention the part at Pelita my sister came telling us we're not going to Perak nor going out for New year's cause we're having a BBQ at our house ? Oh i didn't so yeah , fucked up shittt. I woke up this morning and my sister told Weyna to tell her dad that my parents are inviting him and the wife to the BBQ. But thennn , we were both fucked up tired -.- We didn't realize a thing untiiiill Weyna's dad arrive. Then my dad talked to him and blabla , he agreed . Weyna went back for a while to wait for her mom and she'll be coming back tonight (: Woot woot , not a bad New Year's eve after all . Okay guess what ? I smell like smoke and root beer, need to shower. Toodles <3

Indivisible ,

"That fire you ignited, good, bad and undecided. Burns when I stand beside it, your light is ultraviolet. Visions so insane, travel unraveling through my brain. Cold when I am denied it. Your light is ultraviolet. Now is a phase and it’s changing, it’s rotating us all. Thought we’re safe but we’re dangling, and it’s too far to survive the fall. And this I know. It will not bend, invisible and indivisible. "

I just woke up and i don't know what to do today. Other then going for Rahman's birthday tonight, but then what else ? -.- Another boring day with nothing to do, grrrreat. I was thinking about that theory that Georgia from Angus, thongs and perfect snogging got from the book her mom gave her. Boys are like elastic bands. One time they would just like to get so close and cuddle or such shits with us, but suddenly they'll like to go so far away from us , and then they come running back. But i don't think so. In my theory , they just stretch and never come back -.- Pfthhh shit ass.

I miss Syra. I miss her hugs , i miss her laugh, i miss her boobies and butt , and most of all i miss our long msn chats :( *sobsob* School's starting and we will busy with highschool life, i'm just scared i might lose her . Syra , please don't go :'( Haihhh.

That's all i can say for now , toodles <3 style="font-style: italic;">

Dear Crackhead .

Dear crackhead son of mine,
Mummy would like to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you. You're a big boy now, 18 tahun dah weh , eeeee dah tua lah siaaaal ;p Even your mummy's 5 years younger then you , what the fuck ! Bahahaha. Dude, i've known you less then a month but when it comes to hanging out with you, sheeesh it's like i've known you for years :o I can even tell you anything when i have problems bothering me. You were the one that was VERY concerned about me when i wanted to run away, you were the one that kept giving me advices and always listening to me nag all the time. Somehow i feel like what i'm doing for you is not as much as what you did for me :/ And i really really hope i could make yr day tomorrow. It's your day and please lah wehhhh tolak ketepi semua masalah kau esok. You tau en yr friends are always there for you. Fuck all the problems for a while. Not worth to waste yr birthday okay ? Esok you nak stress stress , aku sumbat tepung masuk mulut kau kanggg , sumpah tak tipu. Serious shit i buat nanti. BE READY MY BOYYY >:) I'm your mummy slash drugster *keningkening* Hahaha. Rahman oh rahman , you mean alot to me, cause someway , somehow , you've helped me alot :') Thanks for everything, and wait till tomorrow for your special birthday gift from me, MUAHAHAHA. Saaaayang kau crackhead ♥


p/s : dear readers , i was actually bored and wanted to blog, but somehow i didn't know what to blog about, so decided to write bout him since there's nothing else to write about. My day was boring and dull , so yeahhhhh. JANGAN NAK PERASAN SANGAT AH KAN RAHMAN AKU SAYANG KAU :P

Too late ,

SpeedPanicCrash&BOOM!

I'm in a very fucked up situation. My head's a mess , mixed up with all these random emotions. Too much expectation and this is what happens :/ Somehow i wish i could just stop hoping , infact i wish i had no hope at all. But all that is impossible to control. I'm a naive girl , i fall easily and i seem to be a sucker for sweet talks. Pfth , sometimes i can't even see it's fake. I get blinded by people's kindness and smiles, not able to tell if it's sincere or not :/ Life is so confusing , harder then Form 2 Maths -.- I know i'm lame , shuddup !


Well , i had a tiring day yesterday. Hardly had time for blogging or MySpace or MSN . I had to babysit 3 annoying brats which i love (: Yeah , my baby cousins. Eesya's birthday was on Christmas Eve , so we planned a suprise party for her last night. She had no idea , and i had to cover up everything. I went to Uncle Sham's house which is just a few blocks away from mine, picked them up and brought them home. Played with them and listened to them babble , watch cartoons and make sure they take their nap :) It all turned out well. Around 8 something , we headed to Uncle Sham's house. Eesya was asking too much questions, "Nak pergi mana ni ? Kenapa pakai lawa lawa ? Kenapa ibu tak ikut ? ". All that i had to answer , bahaha. It was fun surrounded by 6 year old's the whole night. Shard 2330 , me and my brother head to Section nine along with Thariq. Had nothing else better to do other then hanging out at the Tembok. Sobsob. Haha went home a lil late , and got really tired that i slept through half of the movie marathon i was having with Ila and Thariq, sheeeesh :/ Woke up late too -.- My head was killing me.


I'm having more problems you can ever imagine. Say that i'm just a 14 year old girl, and say that i'm being too dramatic. But trust me , you have no idea. I'm caught up with all these emotions. I need someone that would actually understand what i mean :/

Goodbye ,

Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009 ;)

Only 5 days left for 2008 and it's about time for us to stop and think. Think of everything that we've been through. All the fights , tears , laughs , screams and fears is all memories now. Heartbreaks and betrayals , we'll meet again next year :) It's time for a new chapter , let God be the author and i'll be the main character. Let's think of a new resolution for next year , new years eve is just around the corner. Think , think , think ! Make it good and reasonable. Learn from our mistakes we made this year and all the regrets we're having now. What did we do ? When did we start ? How did it happen ? Who to blame ? Where does it end ? All these questions need answers and i bet we still can't figure it out. Cause we never seem to realize our own mistakes, but i think this is the exact right time. What do i want ? For starts ,

1. SCORE PMR :)
2. Make good impression towards family and friends :)
3. Don't be too naive.
   
4. Make new improved trustworthy friends
5. Build up more self confidence for a brighter future
6. DO NOT CURSE THAT OFTEN.

t's becoming a habit which is NOT good :) I know it sounds cheesy but who gives a fuck, that's what i want to do. It may be hard to change , but it's worth a try. That's most of the mistakes i've done this year, and time for a change baby ! :D Go Icky go go ! you can do it :D haha i'll be my own cheerleader.Badabing badaboom , fireworks and shouts on new years eve :) 2009 will be a better year, let us all hope for that. Wave byebye 2008 , and give a warm hello hug to 2009. Memories will be kept deep inside. Let's take a flash back ! Sobsob :')

All this i would miss , all this i would cherish , all this i would keep , all this i would learn :) Friends and foes , good or bad , thick and thin , laughs and tears we all shared together <3

Assalamualaikum,

Ultraviolet ,

I didn't really have the mood to spill everything that's happening to me lately , but now i think it's the right time. I had the best family holiday yet , and yet when i got back home, the worst thing happened and yeah it broke me down. I felt my blood rushing through my veins and tears flowing down my cheeks. It hurts like a knife and i felt like an idiot. For believing that arse hole , for trusting his fucking fake sweet talk , for even falling for him and for knowing him. Yes , those are all regrets , bloody regrets. Oh dearest asshole , just so if you read this , stop being a so-called-ladies men , you're not all that -.- And yeah , you can keep yr fucking dirty heart to yourself , no girl deserves it , bloody shit ! *breathe in , breathe out * Haihh , okay i'm done , and oh i realized this afternoon , losing him was the best thing that actually happened (: Seriously , he was a waste of time .

Right at this very moment , yes , right now , i'm missing alot of people . Shall i list them out ? Hell yes i will. Weeks and weeks passed , i miss my lesbo partner , Fatin Izyan , i think she may be mad at me right now for certain reasons . Hm , b , if you read this , i'm very sorry :'( I miss my baby lion , Atikah Aliah and for sure my girlfriend , Wan Noor Faradawina :'( Fuck , i miss them to bits ;( Not to mention Frezailah Atilia , bitch ! Where the fucking hell are you ? :'( Shelalala and FiqaWifey and VirLove, nak jumpaaaaaa . And i miss that loser , SYAFIQ MEGAT COME BACK FAST ! Yes , he's gone to Melbourne for few weeks , hmm :/ No more sunshine for now , sobsob. I also miss Anas , NINAAAKAMILIA , Rahman , Raes and Zakwan . I hope to meet them ASAP , sheeeeesh .

That's all for now , kinda busy , toodles <3

Perfect Holiday

Well yeah , i just got back from Penang yesterday , and damn it was a hell of a holiday. I shopped till i drop , i mean literally ;p I was so tired i just sat by the road like a homeless hobo , bahaha . But then , the beach , the weather , the hot males with hot bods 8] and the fact my whole family was there , it was the best yet (: I couldn't think of anything else but the fun i'm having. And i've met this one decent , loser and lame guy who thinks i'm into him , lol. His name is Tengku Danial , yes TENGKU tuuu ;p I didn't give him my number , i didn't give him my email , instead i gave him a dare to look for my MySpace (: I gave him my full name and other details , so yeah , wish him luck. How did i meet him ? Shohhh , he saved my shoe from the wave , well actually Pian did , but he just wants the fame ;p Boo you Danial . Got loads of pictures from Penang , so yeah check out my album in MySpace (: I'm bloody tired and i think that's all i can say about Penang . Toodles <3

LazyDay

I spent the whole day watching TV , how interesting right ? (: Hmm , other then that just texting , taking pictures on the roof , play guitar hero and eat eat eat :D I think i'm gaining weight , woohoooo ! I know , i'm a freak . I need freedom , sheesh . Hopefully after Penang , i'll get it back , grr . Okay , nothing else to tell , traa !

Run away ,

I was lying down on my bed then suddenly an unknown number called. So i picked it up .

Icky : Hello ?
Rahman : Icky ni rahman ah .
Icky : Haaa apa dia ? *suara mengantuk gila en*
Rahman : You kat mana weh ?
Icky : i kat rumah ah bongok
Rahman : Oh okayyyy *silence*
Icky : Asaaaaaaaaaal ?
Rahman : Aku ingat kau lari rumah ah weh !
Icky : hahahahhaha bongok ;p
Rahman : dah ah ! bye *hang up*


Awwwwwwwwwwww Rahman loves me :D hahaha of course you do ! I'm your mummy :D

Mixed up

When you don't have what you want, you know exactly what you want and what you need. But once you got it, you suddenly pause and think , is this what you really want ? I'm not so sure either of what i want right now , i don't even know what i need . Everything all mixed up , my emotions all mixed together. What do i get? Fucking mood swings (: Hoorahh. Currently grounded , can't go out and here i am in my room doing nothing but writing this blog. How interesting (: I'm bored , toodles <3

Unplanned ,

Yesterday was hell. Family problems getting bigger and bigger. D left me hanging, didn't talk to Syafiq that much, barely texted anyone and went out with no money at all :) I was a freaking mess. But then, Weyna came to Shah Alam and brightened my day , she was there in front of my house to give me hugs and i swear i was about to cry. We went to Pelita , UNPLANNED (: Then hanged out there with her cousin and a friend of her cousin. He is hilarious , i could barely drink properly when he starts talking -.- I put my phone aside for a day, couldn't handle with any more problems. Then my son named Rahman came with 3 other hooligans (: Afiq , Ija and Omar. Hoyeah , Afiq as always would poke me so i would say words that would make him laugh. Ija was bugging the shit out of me and Rahman was just being Rahman , pfth -.- Waited for another 2 monkeys for hours wasn't that worth it though -.- Megat and Mush , thanks alot . My day was slightly better cause i got to meet Weyna , but the others turned out like shit. Everything was a mess , a fucking mess -.- Thanks Weyna , Zakwan and Rahman for being concerned. I love you (: Today ? It just started , let's hope nothing gets worst today , just hope for a better day . *sigh* I'm hungry , my head are still full of thoughts and i can't smile , damn it ! Off to play guitar hero , choww <3

Sunshine (:

Sorry ladies , he's my eye candy right now 8] Who's he ? Oh oh , the name is Syafiq Megat , also known as Megs , but i call him Megster. *winkwink* Why is this blog specially for him ? Because it's my blog and i want to, not only that, because he's a loser and he has this weird interest which is making me blush. I told you he's a loser :) But who cares, he still means alot. I would like to say thanks to Atilia baby and Khairil , if it wasn't for them , i wouldn't even know he exist :P We've been texting and we've been sharing laughs and thoughts, hope to meet him up soon, before he leaves that is. Pretty please? :( Every morning , he'll be the first person i'll text , i have no idea why , i guess he's just addictive * i know yr blushing right now sweets ;p * OH OH , and he'll know the exact words to say when i'm feeling down. He knows the exact words to make a girl feel so proud :) That's his specialty, making me smile all through the day. He's my Sunshine , hoyeah he is , be jealous girls , be verryyyy jealous ;p He said he hoped that he made my life better like how i made his , and he also said i made him feel more secure bout his self. And grr till now i don't get what means , can anyone pretty please explain ? Grr . We've known each other less then a month , but i can talk to him as if i've known him all my life. How great can he be ? :D I love you handsome *winkwink* I'll seriously miss you when you're gone :(
Oh and look what he said ,

Syafiq says:
well, i think you're so lame when you say you're cute to yourself. but at the same time i can't help but wanna bite you and melt inside. true story. (:

That's all i can say about him , i wouldn't want any one of you stealing him away , shooh shooh ;p

Hoyeah ,

Today ? Normal yet fun :) And again , mama and papa are away till Monday , hoyeahhhh :D They've been leaving the house to us often this month *keningkening* Thanks mama papa , i loooove youuuu <3

At 2pm , headed to KLCC . With dearest brother Syamil and cousin Ila :) We sang and laughed in the car , was kinda silly though . Then arrived around 3 something, ran all the way from the fucking crowded convention center , damn it , just to rush and meet Fiqa :D Hoyeah , i miss her ! i love you wifey :) Minutes after , Ashraf called and said he's here. So yeah , headed to Starbucks and met Ejay on the way , ahah :) Bought our frap , headed back to entrance and met up Danial and Atilia baby boo :) Had the chance to share ciggs and laughs with them , and i had to go. Said goodbye and hugs kisses .

I arrived home and called Akmal , ask him to come to Shah Alam and asked him to pick up Atilia first at Pavi :) And so he agreed ONLY IF i pay for the petrol and tol -.- How mean right ? But yeah whatever , haha . I waited , then i called Atilia and she said she's heading to Akmal now and she's with Zakwan , ahah :) Arounf 9 something , they arrived , i was excited though :D So we hanged out , laughed and nipple twist , hoyeah 8] At 10.45 we headed to McD , i had to buy them food -.- We ate and did silly things with fries and ketchup. After the meal headed to the car. We took the long way home , through Section 12 , babi jauh lah sial , haha . Then infront of my house , we just chilled in the car. I was moody for certain reasons , Zakwan was being kinky , Rara was worrying about her finger , Atilia and Akmal with their own thing at the front seat . We all talked and laughed our ass off , till it was time for them to go back. ZAKWAN , sweater you i punya skrng , teheeee :) And oh Atilia , Akmal , Rara , thanks for coming :) i loooove you <3 Akmaaaal , nnt i tarik tarik rambut you and cubit you lagi okay ? I biar berkesan sikit ;p Heee .

Twisted ,

I've watched twilight , well yeah , FINALLY . Har har. Edward Cullen is extremely hot , but i hate the fact that every girl on earth is going gaga over him. But who cares , he's fucking hot 8] *bak kata Syafiq Megat , this smiley is like a pervert , so what if i am ? haha * On wednesday , i spent the whole day with Aten , yes i do love her , fuck off bitch :) Went to skatepark with her, a freaky guard asked for my number using this very disgusting words. Yeah felt like just slapping him in the face , such perv -.- Then met Anep, Boy, Aliph and Syed at Al-Rafi . Then Fifi came along with Akmal the big guy. I really do mean BIG GUY , he's hands are huge :O And he says back in Qatar , he's the smallest player in his rugby team. Damn it , i don't wanna imagine how big is the biggest ;s Fifi went back early with Akmal , so i spent more time with them :) Took lots of pictures and went back at 6 , rushed home with Aten, get ready and waited for Anep and Boy. Yeah , went to ou with them . I watched Twilight with cousins and sisters, Aten was walking around OU with the boys . Then when the movie was over , went to Rasta with Bedey, Ija , Udang, Afiq, Mek , Anep , Boy and Aten. Well the others came when i was in the movies. I know , how sweet of them =') hahaha . Shisha and took pictures till 3 AM , then went back home . REALLY tired , but still end up sleeping at 7.30am. Fuck , it was exhausting .

Then later on thursday, woke up at 11.30am , yeah 4 hours of sleep is NOT enough. Gahh . Got ready and went to Shela's house , on the way dropped of Aten home :) Went all the way to Bangi , can't wait to see Weyna , hell yeah :) Arrived there and was vry happy to see Shela welcoming me at the front door. Went up stairs and so Virginie , Amoi , and Lily. Then i heard someone shouting my name from the guest room , and wowwie it was Azam and his friends. I didn't know most of his friends except for Zain though. When i was about to enter Shela's room, Azam asked " kenal Ben tak ? " i was like err which ben . And one of his friends was already giggling , looks like Ewan was one of Ben's friends , damn it -.- I just ignored and covered up my face then ran to Shela's room. I opened the door and there jumped Weyna right infront of my eyes , i could tell she was happy , and so was i . There in there room was Kroll and Rose. I totally ignored them, yeah my bad , sorry ;s But then me and Kroll talked it out , now everything's fine , i love you kroll :) Took lots and lots of pictures , i mean ALOT . Ahah , had fun though , missed all of them when i went back :(

That was pretty much what i did this week , i mean the only INTERESTING stuffs i did when my parents were away , lol -.- I know , how boring right ? Hmm , life's confusing and hurting me way deep down inside. Friends keep telling me that guy's aren't everything , they say they'll always be there for me. I know they will , i agree with them. But for the time being, i just need this heart to be mended. It just hurts to know that every guy that comes to offer me some love to me , ends up treating me like a toy. As if i don't have feelings at all. Well screw you, i just need the right one , hmm . Other then that , i do love my friends , i really do . Thanks for always being there for me , you know who you are. I love you :)

I think that's all i have to say , do drop by at my profile to comment my pictures ayte :) Toodles <3