So bright ,

Everything turned out better, life showed the best meaning about it (: I'm happy with where i'm standing right now. Standing tall on this place called earth, people trying to push me down to the ground , but sadly they failed, i'm still up. So just stop wasting time, life's too short to be down all the time, life's too short to waste time messing people's life, and it's way too short for you to keep doing bad instead of good. Life's a rollercoaster ride. When you're down, you'll go through pain , fear , tears , betrayals and heartbreaks. But hey, once you're down, you will still be up somehow. When you're up, all the pleasure , laughs , smiles and joy that you can ever have. Not everything last forever(: I went through all that, and now it's my time. It's my time being up there. Wayyy up high. I'm happier then ever, since he came <3 He changed everything , he showed the true colors of my life. He colored up my dull life (: He's the one , he definitely is the one<3 No matter how often we fight , we never would split up. I'm always with you baby (: And right at this very moment , i just wish this ride would pause. Right at this situation i am right now. I'm fine this way. I've got all the friends i need, family always there, and him always with me <3 I'm happy , you all can see that right ? It is pretty obvious (: Well , i'm done, taa <3

When it turns out wrong ,

When i do something , it will always turn out wrong. I was only being concerned , is it so wrong ? And he says i'm mad, oh cmon, what else did i do this time? Mhm yeah not only him , even parents and siblings. Pfth , it's okay , i'm used to it (: everything i do seems wrong to them , and when i do something right, they don't realize it at all . Well , what the hell , get a grip iqa , you suck (: So yeah , whatever. Hope yr happy syg =') As long as yr happy, i'll be okay . *sigh* i'm not really in a mood right now , it's been a rough day. So long.

A friend i still remember ,

NADHIL (: Yeah you , i know you're reading this now. Hey , kenapa kita dah tak boleh mcm dulu just because i'm with Adeeb ? Wehhh you're still my one and only gay ass okay ? I still nak cakap dgn you mcm dulu , on the phone dgn you lepas makan and then you gelak kat i sebab i gelak macam kuda, and you bahan i banyak lagi then i merajuk and then you pujuk . BABI I RINDU YOU DOH ! sheeeeeeeeesh , you dah laiiiin skrng , sedih you tau takkk. Text pon dah tak , comment reply mcm taknak , bila call pon layan cam kene paksa. Since i'm with adeeb , alaaaaaa , bosan do you mcm ni , nak kene sepak ? Takyah ngada2 lah . i sayang you lah gay ass , you're my bestfriend remember :)

A friend like you isn't easy to find , now i have you locked up inside. I'm not gonna let you go just like that , cause our friendship is a fact (: No way i would ever forget you, our friendship will remain strong and true. With or without a boyfriend , we'll still be friends till the end (: INGAT TU , okay ?

Oh and to the Single Ladies out there , Nadhil sedang mencari , silalah hubungi saya untuk keterangan lanjut (:

Caught up ,

LIFE = betrayals + jealousy + heartbreaks + anonymous behaviour + violence. Humans these days we wouldn't know. We can't expect, sometimes we do things we don't intend to, it just happens like *poof!* So yeah , that's what they say , forgive and forget. And put a little honesty in that , everything would be just fine (: But nooo , everything has to go our way, how we want it. Just knock yourself out, it's pathetic though. Well , i'm referring to myself too , so shut your pilehole. I do want things to do my way sometimes, but i took a minute or two , to just sit back and think of all the things that pass. We can't get everything we want, and we can't be perfect, it's just scary you dimwit bitches -.- Think about it, imagine barbie and kevin in real life. THAT'S HOW SCARY IT IS :| Stop using fake words to get something you want and in the end you throw it away like trash. Stop all the violence and crime , it's making us all feel insecure in our own house. As i said, anything could happen. I just wonder how all those criminals can live? How can they sleep when they just caused someone's life? How can they eat when all those food don't belong to them? How do they live on this place called earth, after all those mean and disrespectful things they've done? They cause death, they cause tears and they cause lots and lots of pain and lost. Have some guilt in you, assholes. Gahhh , i'm just pissed. And oh all these jealousy, are causing lots of dramas , like seriously, ALOT. Stop looking at things you don't have , and start looking at what you have and who's still there for you. You can't get everything you want, remember? That's just life, it's a colouring book that needs to be colored, with pretty colors and full of joy. Stop making your life so dull, and causing yourself to tears just cause you're fucking jealousy, pathetic. Oh and to those heartbreakers, you know what you have to give up, all those heartbreaking, PLEASE (: All those betraying and stuffs , what do you get ? Joy? Pleasure? Well three words for you, ROT IN HELL. You got no guilt at all mannn , seriously ? All the innocent people drowning in tears, and surrounded with sorrow, cause by all these assholes an hoe's. All these highschool bitches , Miss shimmy shimmy lipgloss who thinks their allll thaattt , well here , THINK AGAIN. One word of advice to all of you , GET A LIFE (: I'm done here.

Drown ,

Damn , exams weeks away and i'm still goofing around as if nothing's happening :| Well , earth to IQA , time to go back to reality , funs over , FOR NOW that is. Study study study , and hello new buddy , revision books (!) Wowwieee -.- Get your lazy ass up and go study , okay ? *yeah i'm talking to myself , i am weird , thank you (: *

Want to know something ? I MISS SCHOOL :O I didn't go on Friday for certain reasons , and heck i didn't get to see Miss Elami :( Sheeeeeeeeeeesh ! I miss them random freaks i meet everyday at school , i can't believe i just said that. Usually school is the last place i want to be. Well duh , pretty obvious it's all cause of the dramas and attention seeking assholes -.- They just make me wanna puke , gahh ! I listened to all the songs in my playlist and craaaaaap , i realized all trouble and chaos i've been through. And i'm still wondering how i'm still standing. I imagined i would be wearing all black and sitting in the corner and not wanting to be noticed. But heck , i'm the total opposite right now. I just wish i could fix back every single mistake i did , i wish i could turn back time. But hey , sometimes dreams don't come true . We just have to be strong , and stand still , accept that simple fact :) Ain't that hard right.Today was a lazy day for all of us , just watch Made Of Honor with Ila . Laughed my huge ass off till my stomache aches. Other then that , i texted with Adeeb the whole day :O Well , he was the one that woke me up , sheeesh i knowwww . But heck who cares , i love him (: haha . Mhmm, You know it's just making me sick seeing all these screaming girls drooling over Jonas Brothers. Well yeah , i love their music , it kinda cheers me up and makes me wanna sing , Lol. But to think again that i have to see their faces over & over again almost at every single MySpace profile i open , it's just sick -.- Over rated muuuch . They are hot , but don't over rate them please , it's just a big turn off :| You got what i mean ? Lol , okay i'm crapping , i better go now , taa <3

Farewell ,

A teacher i can never forget :) Miss Elami , we will all miss you . On behalf of my insane class , 2 KRK 1 , i would like to say sorry for all the mess we've made , and all the tears we caused . We didn't mean to do such thing. What you thought us we would always remember. You made our class a better place . The day you showed up , just made us all feel relieved that we finally have an English teacher. You're fun and pretty , nothing to deny that (: But hey this farewell is just goodbye teacher and hello friend . We'll still be contacting each other and go out for some fun together, no doubt about it ;) Don't forget us , please <3 Today would be your last day with us , we're going to have fun aren't we :) We'll miss you teacher and hope that we'll be seeing each other again , or maybe go mall hopping together , don't you think ? :) WE LOVE YOU <3

A day to remember ,

He's way beyond perfect and he definitely made my day <3 i love him , i really do (: He's miiiiiine <3 I met his mother a.k.a mother inlaw , teheeee ((: He met my brother as well , and he seems to be a really great boyf <3 You have no idea how much i love him. We laughed , we held hands and more to the story , and so now i sit and write this blog , just to tell you how much i had fun with you bby (: i love you <3

Bubble pop ,

I'm sweating and shivering at the same time, my head's heavier then myself, stomach hurts, legs and back aching real bad, my nose is red ad i can't stop sneezing. Argh bloody fever :| I hate it i hate it.

Played guitar hero , went online , cooked maggi , and texting with adeeb the whole day , hoyeah , that's all i did. best tak ? (: har har hell no . I wanna go out wehhhh, sheeeesh. I miss alot of people right now that it's too much to mention. I wish i could just get this one week to go out and meet all those people i'm wanting to hug real bad. But nooooo , mama won't let me -.- I love you mother <3

I love my boyf (: oh oh oh yeah i do. hahaha :) I'm tired and running out of ideas, toodles <3

One , two , three

I looked at him as a brother, and he looked at me as his sister. He was going rough times with his lover, and i was going through rough time with mine. We both were going through pressure but when we were talking, nothing seems to go wrong. The day i got back from holiday, he called to make sure i arrived safely (: When i broke up , he said that everything will be alright. When i was crying , he would try his best to cheer me up. He made me smile from ear to ear , and laugh so hard. Then he told me , that it was over, no more pressure from his lover cause he was single . We spent time alot, he would call me everytime and text me day and night. And one day, we had a fight, the biggest fight of all, over something ever so small. That time he confessed , he confessed he wants me to be his and only his. He confessed that he wants no one else but me. And then i realized , it was him all along. It was him that pulled me up , it was him that would make me smile. I held on to his words and trust him. After every heartbreaks, tears and pain, i know he's the one to make it all go away. 14th September 08, at 9.15pm sharp, the best thing happened to me. He popped up the question and i had no second thoughts or doubts , i just said yes with all my heart. He was mine , all miiiine. Nothing could make me change my mind and i don't give a fuck about what they say, as long as i'm living my own life and not bothering yours. He's my bestfriend, lifesaver, the spiritlifter, the soulmate and THE boyfriend. Laughs , tears , smiles and frowns, thick and thin, good or bad, all of that we'll go through together. Hold my hand and don't let go , hug me tight and we'll be fine. My love for you is way beyond anything in this world (: I love you boyfriend <3

It's not everyday you can find someone that would always remind you that you mean the world to them. It's not everyday you can find someone that would do anything to prove how much they love you. It's not everyday you can find someone that can make you feel so loved and needed. It's not everyday you can find someone that would give you sweet poems and quotes just to make your day. It's not everyday you can find someone that knows how to make you not stay mad at them for too long. It's not everyday that you can find someone that would make you feel so secured and safe. It's not everyday that you can find someone like Adeeb Fiqri Zainal Abidin<3

Sincerely Me ,

True Friend,

You're a friend that I can count on,
To life my spirits and never let me down.
You're a friend that I trust ,
To make me happy and never make me frown.

I never get to see you that often,
Because of some certain reasons.
But each time I see you're face,
My world seems like a better place.

You're always there when my spirits need a lift,
Now I realize that our friendship is a gift.
Bright as a diamond and precious as gold,
I do believe our friendship will never grow old.

I'll be here to help you through your day.
I promise you I'll always be here all through the way.
I'll be here through thick or thin ,
Just to let you know you're a true friend

Friends will come and they will go,
As time goes by we will grow,
Time by time i will age just like you,
But I promise our friendship will stay strong and true

I wish that I could repay,
All the help you've been giving.
You've been there always ,
So caring and yet so loving .

I'd like to be that kind of friend you've been to me,
You're the one I can count on and understands me so deep,
I'd like to be that kind of friend you've been all this long,
I wanna keep this friendship true and strong.

You're the friend that can really show you care,
Always helping and telling me what's fair.
Being there each time I shed tears,
And lifting my spirits up through the years

Picture of Life ,

Today i took a picture of life ,
trying to understand it more each second,
but i realised there are so many lies,
So easy to understand but so hard to learn.

Tomorrow i find a reason to believe ,
what's infront of me are fake and unreal.
Betrayals and heartbreaks everywhere.
They deny it but all i can say is what i feel.

Years and years past by in just a blink,
I'm still standing and holding on to my soul.
Day by day my hope seems to sink,
I start to think what's left to hold.

I walk on this place called earth,
Looking for the stranger in my life.
I realised how foolish i've been all along
believing in all those tiny lies.

What's done is done , what's past is past.
but everything seems to happen so fast.
Every heartbeat, soul, breath and mind,
Has a meaning that's not easy to find.

Life is full of karma which i believe is real.
All the pain and pressure that you can feel.
Cruelty with a cold heart is just a trend,
The reason it's hard to find a trusted friend.

Here i write with my mind and soul ,
something i've been planning to let go.
Too much ego and too much pain,
It's time to walk down memory lane.

I could be ,

i could be that someone that meant everyword i say ,
without giving fake hopes and promises

i could be that someone that can be there when you're down
To make you smile and turn that frown upside down,

i could be that someone that will be by your side when you're crying,
i'll lean you a shoulder and wipe off those tears you shed.

i could be that someone that would accept you for who you are ,
loving you and caring for you without asking you to change one bit .

i could be that someone to make you smile when you wake up
by telling you how you light up my life .

i could be that someone to brighten up you're day
and i'll never get bored of doing that as long as you stay

i could be that someone that would listen to what's bothering you
and be there to hold you as you go through each of that problem.

i could be that someone that won't be afraid to admit you're mine
i wont care what they say and let them care bout imperfections, i dont.

i could be that someone that would be there by you're side when you're scared .
and tell you that everything's gonna be alright as long as i'm here .

i could be that someone that you would be proud of ,
by just being who i really am.

i could be that someone that would catch you when you fall ,
to pull you back up and hold you close.

i could be that someone to make you smile and laugh ,
to brighten up you're day and make sure you're okay.

i could be that someone that can make you feel so loved,
giving you poems and telling you how i really feel from the bottom of my heart.

i could be that someone that i described up there,
cause i want to be who i could be .

who i am is who i want to be , and who i want to be is who i could be .
This is who i am and i won't change .

*i took this from my MySpace Blog cause since i'm no longer using it :) Some poetry i've wrote myself :)

Break the silence ,

Hello who ever that's reading, before reading i'll just remind you that this is nothing important , so you don't really have to read :) But if you want to , go ahead , don't blame me if you get bored , i warned :)

School ? Oh yeah yesterday , pfth , had drama practice , well i mean for english . And woohoo , i hate my scenes , slightly liking it but heck i don't like the way i am in that , but what the heck , it's just a drama for our oral test , hoorah -.- Well , Mr. Nice Guy seems to like it , pfth bahaha . I just like seeing his face , sheeeesh stop making a big deal out of it people . Okay , as i was saying , school , we sucked at our BM report , haha big time weh :| It was like , dull , TOO DULL , but yeah whatever , what's done is done :)

Oh and yeah , i love her , him & them <3 style="font-style: italic;">" i'm here , everything's going to be alright , i love you xxx " I don't know how else to ever repay them for everything that they've done for me , i love you peeps <3

I don't have much to say , so yeahhh , i love you bestfriend and i love you gay ass <3

Slow down ,

I realized whenever i share this special song with someone , i intend to cry when i hear it again when that person is no longer that someone anymore. If you know what i mean , okay nevermind i don't think you do. I've been crying for quite some time , and all because of this fucking songs , gahh . Whatever , sheeeeesh iqa stop being such a sucker :|

Nothing special happened today , same ol same ol boredom. I had to see my juniors fight over so many reasons , boys, lies, copycat, betraying and blabla. That just made me laugh for some reason cause i was in their shoes . I wish i could just tell them to let it be , but hey , let them learn their selfs :) I laughed alot just so i wouldn't think too much anymore. Although i'm still missing that person , babi . Urgh .

We played charades in English class today , damn it i laughed my ass off. I had to be the instructor cause none of them had any idea how to play -.- So me and Eela went up front and had to guide them through the game. It was funny though , they had no idea what they were doing. Haha but yeah , we had fun :) And oh , school's still boring though ;p


I'm full , i'm bored , i'm tired but not sleepy , and i'm fucking messed up , bahaha :) Chow <3

Loopty Loop ,

It is happening again , how it always does. Once , i can accept , twice , i can hide , but when it happens over and over again, i am not wondergirl. I'm getting weaker day by day , i no longer have that spirit and courage , i no longer have him . I'm losing more people day by day . The ones i need the most , sometimes i wonder don't i mean anything that they can leave me like trash ? They don't know how much i need them , they have no bloody idea ! Argh , i'm struggling here , i've been trying so hard to hide it with my laughter and smiles , but in the end of the day i'll end up crying till i can't cry anymore. I'm breaking down real bad , nothing can stop me now. Those people that are saying i'm emotional and attention seeking , well har har you can go fuck yourself , i ain't asking for your bloody sympathy. If you care , then yeah i'll be glad to talk to you . But if you don't , do i look like i care ? This is a place i let out my feelings , so if it bugs you , is that any of my problem ? Exactly , i don't think so. You , you , you , you and you ! Stop acting like miss allll that , cause actually you're not :) Seriously check yourself in the mirror. And for people that are screwing up my mind , fuck off and go do the victory dance , cause hell yeah i'm breaking down. Satisfied? :)

Take me out ,

I spent the fucking whole day playing guitar hero , how interestinnngggg -.- Other then doing this freaking report BM , shyeahhh what a fascinating day for me :\ Did nothing , and yeah today was a down part , i hate it . He left :) Byebye A<3 You want it this way , be it . Sick and tired of people going in and out of my life , jangan nak pijak kepala sangat ah kan , tampar jugak karang . Apa lagi ? Other then guitar hero , report , babysitting , kung fu panda 7th time , Bring it on In it to win it , that's probably it :) DAH LA NADHIL TIDUR LAMA GILA BABI , hotak kauuu tidur setengah hari , and then confident gila babi ah kan cakap puasa , serupa takyah puasa lah botak . Bijak -.- Do i have anything else to say ? NOPE :) taa <3

Gay Ass (:

As always , after my dinner i would call my gay ass Nadhil (; And he turned out to be gay-er tonight.

We were talking about exams and schools blabla , suddenly he felt like saying,
Nadhil : Haha but next year i dah free gila gila ah kan,
Icky : Not reallyyyy , nanti you kene pegi PLKN, and then lepas tu you kene register college or maybe kerja , wowww freeeedomm kan ?
Nadhil : Ah but tak kesah ah kan , i boleh bangun pukul berapa pon i nak , tapi you nanti .. hahahhahah. Nnti i drive datang shah alam and i bawak you jalan-jalan , then i rogol you and then i hantar you balik, okay chun ?
Icky : You nak rogol i pahal do ? Jahat gila !
Nadhil : Mcm tambang duit minyak ah bawak you jalan-jalan , hahahahha
Icky : Kuang aja do you , tampar kang .
Nadhil : Eh tak do , i memaen je ah , i snnye takut ngn prmpuan oh ,
Icky : Haa ye la tu , this is so going in to my blog .
Nadhil : WEHH TAKPAYAH LA DO, sumpah kalau you masuk kan i merajuk gila babi punya.
Icky : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :))

And then there's more gay part that we had , banyak gelak lah kot , but whatever , sayang you lah niggaaaaa :D Oh and one more thing , he asked " Hari tu i dah ckp you lawa , skrng i nak tanya , i handsome tak ? " HAHAHAHA you kacak lah abang botak :D takpayah nak gay dengan i sangat ah kan ;p Nak merajuk jugak ke ? Malam nanti i pujuk , don't worry . HAHA , pegi belajar lah , esok trials , love you nigga <3

Speak up ,

Words from songs can make you smile , and sometimes can make you cry . Why ? Cause you seem to imagine of all the memories you've been through , and think about the ups and downs of your life. To people out there , when someone is feeling so down and low because he / she is thinking about life and everything that she's going through , that is not called emo :) I don't get why you would call it emo just because their letting out their emotions, pfthh don't blame them cause you don't have feelings :| Do people call you crazy when you start smiling by yourself or maybe sitting in the corner and suddenly laughing all alone ? Hey that's just you enjoying that very moment or you're just loving life. Each and everyone has their ups and downs , don't fucking lie to me and tell me your life is perfect , maybe it is for now , you'll see what comes next :) You do good, you get back good . You do bad , you get back bad. Infact , sometimes worst. As they say , what goes around , comes around. I'm just saying what i think is right , anyone agree ? Or maybe anyone disagreeing ? Come to me and speak up , i would love to hear :)

With or Without words ,

Listening to the same song over and over again , my butts heavier then an elephant , cause hell yeah i don't want to go to school -.- Too much dramas here and there , pfth , when will they ever get bored. *sigh* Stomach's growling like a hornay tiger , fuck i'm hungry :| Only 6 hours left , haaa yeah 6 bloody hours of no food , hunger hungeeeerrr . It's okay , bak kata Aweis , i sorang yg penyabar :) Haha gay words . Nadhil pulak ckp " I dah mandi wajib dah " hahaha ;p sorry youu , i nak jugak tulis , pukul ah pukul ah . Har har har . I'm fucking bored and still not wanting to go to school . I wonder if i can walk through walls , ooohhh :D That would be fun , har har . Oh , suddenly i imagined Pn Mahanun screaming like she saw an actual ghost yesterday in class :| It ain't pretty baby , it ain't pretty at alll . She scared the whole freaking class , thank you teacher , you know we love you <3333 hahaha :) I'm crapping and yeah i'm tired , chow <3

When you can't get through ,

Woah , it's been long , sorry :\ I don't really get enough time to actually sit down and take my time to write here . Well , here's the time , hooorah :)

Holidays was fine , *psst!* I really did shop till i dropped , well i don't mean literally -.- Duhhh. It was fun though , but hell yeah i missed the people back home and the life back in Malaysia , damn i was so tired of checking out Indonesian Hunks that i just let it be and wished to be home , A S A P :| Exams went fine , well not that fine , but yeahhh kinda okay i guess. Results ? *whistles* i radther not talk about it , ahah .

Life is just how as it is , i can't say it's cruel and i can't say it's dull . It's simple the way it is , with all the dramas and crimes . Too much dramas going on . Well , yeah to all those people out there, say what you want and do what you want, cause all i can do is just pray and hope for the best that you'll stop and get bored of it sooner or later. Cause i'm tired of fighting over you and i'm tired of pushing all these emotions away. YEAH , i am breaking down and i am miserable , go shout out HOORAYY out loud and buy yourself a cake , it's your lucky day. Just what you wanted all these while. You want all the people to like you ? TAKE IT (: You want all the attention ? TAKE ITTT (: You want all the people to praise you and treat me like shit? *dingdingding* We have a winner (: I'll just go up to you and shake your hands , with all my guts i'll say Congratulations Ol Pal. *sigh* Yeah, i am very very very tired of all these shits happening. How people has been really unfair and only collecting every mistakes a human can make instead of all the wonderful deeds. What do they expect ? We ain't a barbiedoll , we ain't superman or wondergirl , we are who we are and who we are is who we want to be. So why judge someone for being them selfs ? Open up your eyes and see clearly, thank you (: I may not be as pretty as you pretty people , i may not be as fancy as you fancy people , i may not be as entertaining as you fun people , and most of all i may not be a great friend as all of you, and i'm sorry .

Woah , i speaked up pretty well :) But yeah whatever , did to many speaking up but nothing changed, it's still how it is. Shits happening , and dramas day by day , different episodes , i wonder what's tomorrow episodes about :/ I just hope , i really really hope , it'll turn out to be a happy ending. Although i'm very thankful of who i have now, they know who they are and i don't need to mention anymore i guess :)

Oh yeah , it's the Fasting Month, siapa tak puasa hari ni ? ANGKAT TANGAN! haha ;p Well , i don't think i'll make that as a big deal , cause it's not like i don't see guys walking around with drinks slash foods in their hands after OR during school :) Har har har , it's too normal . Agree anyone ? I ate alot during berbuka , lemme rephrase that with capital letters , and maybe bold it too , i ate ALOT during berbuka . Much better. Too much that i could barely walk , but then i had to babysit 3 brats , but good thing Nadhil teman , haha gay ass talking about doggy style, and he was beside the mosque , ish ish apa nak jadi you niiii Nadhil ;p Har har har , syg you lah gayyy .

This turned out longer then i expected :| I'm kinda messed up right now , so yeahhh chow <3