Dooms day

Open day is this Thursday, and for the first time in my highschool years, i told my mom about it. She didn't have to find out herself , har har. She smiled though, but i didn't. My grades are still pretty much a mess. Mostly all of it i improved, but heck not that type of improvement my parents are looking for. Pfth. I've been listening to emotional songs with powerful lyrics the whole day, and don't ask me why. Me myself has no answer to that question. I slept for 1 hour plus today in class. But thanks for Ajib and some other chaotic seniors of mine for shaking the table , it woke me up. Sheesh.Then walked around school, bumped in with Ustad , yes my favourite Ustad of all. HAHA. He is still rude though, i hate you , heee. Okay bottom line i had fun yesterday , thanks F :) and i'm off. toodles .

xoxo,
icky♥

Nothing ,

Why didn't i run before i fell? Why didn't i turn back when i had time. Why did i choose to get hurt. But now i made a different choice. I chose to surrender the good things that happened to me. Yeah, the laughs and smiles we shared, those moments we had. Let it go, i really think so. You want what's best for you and i think i hold that very big part, i'm gonna let you be happy. I'm holding you back from happiness and i think you deserve each and every bit of it. I'm not blaming you for this , cause i think i'm the that should be blamed. I hope you're happy. You want to be free, and now you are. I just have to remind my self that nothing last forever♥

xoxo,
icky♥

Flashback,

Just to let you know , that i actually miss you. Infact , i miss you a lot. Let's meet up someday okay baby :) Let's chase back all the memories we had before♥

Can't you see

If only i could tell you that it's you all this while that made me forget all the missery i'm going through. If only i could let you know you mean more then anything to me. If only you could see that it's you i really need. If only you knew i'm falling for you♥

It's always you A♥

Funny

Rearrange the word Mother In Law and you will get Woman Hitler :)

Swine ,

I miss school , might be the words you won't expect from me at this kind of situation. But hey, shy to say but have to let it out , i fucking miss school. I found out Salwani won't be around till next year , sobsob. Kinda sad though , school's boring without her. No more drama and action. No more running and hiding away from her if i feel like buying a drink at the canteen during lessons. I'll miss you psycho discipline teacher , sobs *sigh* Whatever. I havent been to school for almost a month, yeay me ? Har Har. Not my fault though , blame this flu. Blame this very very very very annoying flu. So have you heard ? "Seorang pelajar Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Seksyen 9 telah disyaki menghidap penyakit H1N1" or whatever they call it. Yeah it was all over the news , and many talked about it. You may find out either ways. It was pretty much the highlight of the year for SMKS9 , lol. After the two weeks holiday, i went to school on the first day. And on Tuesday, i felt my body aching from muscle to muscle, and from bones to bones, i felt so warm inside but cold outside, my voice unable to come out , i could barely speak and my nose was stuffed. So i called my Mom since she was away. And i got 4 days off that week , legally that is , with a doctor's slip *ehem* And so i thought i might be fine this week, bur heck was i wrong :) With my flu still annoyingly around and that swine flu around school , Mama told me not to go and got another doctor's slip for another 4 days. Yeay me (!) Almost a month, how can i not miss school.

Oh , Michael Jackson is dead. Yikes , sobsob. Really sad , i loved his music though. It was all over the news. Tragic. Guess who i found out from ? Faeq :) The first thing he texted me when i woke up, kinda weird though. Haha. Azra and Fiera sleeping over for 2 nights was awesome , kinda feel lonely and quiet without them. Pictures will be uploaded.

xoxo,

icky♥

Adrenaline rush ,

It's been 4 days since i last went to school , bahaha. Feels great though, haha. Still stuck with flu and cough, fucking annoying. Haha but thank god Apis , Abg Khas , Amaa , Tyka , Azra and the rest has been entertaining my days at home. I can't wait to see them tonight , hee it's been a week though. Cousins are coming tonight, for a BBQ my sister planned. So yeah , busy night yo. Toodles.

xxx,
Icky

I wonder ,

Looks can be very deceiving. I don't know if you agree or not , but to me it can. Let's look at it in a guy's view. What do you look for in a girl? Skinny minny high class bootie girls. Perfect skin. Easy to say, gorgeous and good looking. But do they look in the inside. Nope , they don't. Ahah, correct me if i'm wrong gents. But i say what i see. Happens a lot of times. But what if the girl is hideous in the inside. What if she doesnt even have the brains to count 2 + 2 ? What if all she knows is Gucci, Prada, Dolce&Gabbana , FENDI , and whatever other brands there in this world. What if she cares about a broken nail more than she would ever care about a broken heart ? What if she laughs at almost everything cause she's just too slow to develop everything going on around her ? Pfth , i'm saying "what if" ladies, don't get too offended. Sometimes know that someone in the inside before you think about the outside. Looks can be very deceiving , not only about how pretty or goodlooking they are, also about how they dress. Come on girls , you don't expect everyone to buy branded stuffs do you? Well , i don't my parents money that way. If it's nice to wear , wear it. Why care about the brand , pfth. A girl can also be a girl if the only thing she wears is t-shirt and khakhi jeans, you wouldn't know unless you know her, right ? Why judge punks, skaters, indie freaks, or hiphopers by the way they look. Why divide them into cliques ? Sometimes i just don't get it, i don't get it at all. Life can be really funny sometimes. But all i know is, looks can be very deceiving :)

Sayang ,

Empty heart, rolling roller coaster ride, this is how i wreck myself inside, i am tired of being myself, i am tired of being someone else, and i am tired of being here. Shake the bottle, twist the cap, smash it hard, to the ground, hit the mud, cut your ears, see how it turns in a different way, none alike you thought it should be. First, i said i’ve got nothing to live for, she replied, "no." Then, i asked her what that i’ve got to live for, she said, "no, you’re wrong." I am running backward hoping for somebody to catch me before i fall down, before i drown. And we swim to the shore, days come and go, i’ll love you, you will love me, thats all that we need, fuck off everything, we believe in jealousy, i can live but i wish i could die, not yet. Sayang, i am coming home tonight, we will let go everything, just to see how it turns better tomorrow, see i wonder how it could be anything stupid or harder than this.

Well , Pian and Zakwan was singing this song one night when we were in Section 8. And i recorded, i scrolled back to the videos i recorded during the holidays , and suddenly i loved this song. Lol , thanks Pian for telling me the title :) It's deep though. Heee , enjoy. Cheers !

Let go ,

I've been drifting away for quiet long haven't i ? Whatever you want to say or whatever comments you have , keep it to yrself , ayte mate ? :) Cause i'm sick and tired of listening to people commenting me , the way i talk and the way i live my fucking own life. Excuse me , are you THAT perfect ? That's all i want to ask , so answer me bitch (!) Motherfucking lifeless bitch , pfthh !

I just came back from camping last Sunday. It was in Genting , for 3 days. I really didn't want to go. I wanted to beg, but i felt sorry for my dad, he paid big money for that trip. But i want to thank him for that. I had a lot of fun , so many experience and learned a lot. I achieved something i thought i would never achieve. I got an award for best leadership. I know , weird huh Icky winning something ? Finally hahahaha . We had campfire , karaoke night , BBQ . And during free time , we just spend time walking around the chalet , or just wasting our time in the hall , turning out loud music and good around. We were one big family. I thought i'll never find friends there, but thank god i found Rina , Ad and Nadirah (: Yeah , Rina is Adeeb's schoolmate , how freaky , haha. They had the same crazy head as i did. Yeowww ! Ahah. On the last day , before heading back to KL , we had these four obstacles. Fireman crossing , Gribbon crossing , Ninja crossing and Leg Shaking. It's this thing that we have to cross a river on a string :| yeah it was scary , but i had to face it. I was the fucking leader of the team , i couldn't back off -.- One hell of an experience. Go icky ! ahaha. And i arrived Shah Alam safely on Sunday, 6.06pm. End up with a really bad soar throat and annoying flu. Pfth.

I skipped school for 2 days , yeeha. Mama and Papa are away, but that's not the reason i skipped school though -_- I have an MC okay , legally hereeee. Yeah, i couldn't get my head up yesterday. So went to the clinic and blabla got an MC for two days. So that means i have to go tomorrow , bummer. Sick of school cause of Miss you-know-who (: HAHA whatever , she creeps me out anyways. That's all, toodles <3

Icky , xxx

Screwed ,

I should learn how to keep my mouth shut , i really should. I suck at almost everything i do , and i lose people day by day for my stupid bloody act. I'm sorry to everyone that's involved , i'm sorry for everything. I know i'm a trainwreck , gimme some time to fix this. Thanks.