A sincere apology

I would love to say sorry. Sorry for dragging almost everyone in to this mess, for all the trouble I caused , for all the problems I gave , for all the headaches , for being so selfish and stupid , for not making things easier when I could. And also thank you. Thank you for all the tries to make things better , thank you for all the effort , thank you for all the trouble , thank you for even trying to search for me. This is for all the people that was involved. You know who you are. Sorry for everything. Sincerely , me

Throughout the shits ,

Dear boyfriend ,

yes it's you Haikal Hamzah :') It's only been 15 days and damn has it been bumpy as ever. You've been here with me through good and bad , thick and thin , sad and happy , tears and laughs. Everything. It's you, you're the one. This is all my fault , I made it this way. I should have listened to you in the first place. I know what I did was totally wrong. So I have to stay strong no matter what since I was the one who made it this way. I'm sorry for dragging you down with me , I'm sorry I caused you too much trouble, I'm sorry you had to take all the blame while it was actually all my fault , I'm sorry I let you down. But I also want to say thanks. Thank you for being patient with me , thank you for being calm with me , thank you for not leaving when shits happen , thank you for being here with me through everything , thank you for trying to make me go home , thank you for taking all the consequences, thank you for being the best , thank you for being strong , thank you for trying and giving your best shot to make this work. No way am I letting you go now , not ever. No way i'm going to let this end just like that. No way i'm going to give up now. I have to chin up and stay strong and hold on tight. All that's left for me to do now is to have faith in you , in us. Nothing left. In order to make this last , I have to hold on tight no matter what. We'll go through this right sayang ? :') Baby , you're the best I've ever had. I swear you made me feel brand new again. Even when I'm crying , you know exactly the right words to say so that I would smile again. When you're there with by my side , I just love how you grab my hand and won't let go till our hands sweat. I love how we have cute ways of making each other smile. Awak omey angat en en :) Anyonyonyo hihi. I sayang you weh , sumpah do sumpah do sumpah do :'( Remember what I said last night ? You're one hard headed retard lame pain in the ass chicken. But who the fuck cares? I don't. All that matters is that I love you whole heartedly. Just you, you as who you really are now. Don't ever change. You're mine now and always. Keep in mind. I love you Haikal Hamzah , everlastingly♥

Current addiction

What's there for me to talk about ? Hmmm let's start with Friday :)

Friday, 121110
I woke up and head to Azra's house early. There I sat down and talk with Afiera. About everything. Yes , literally everything. It's been ages since we last did that. And around 10am , the lovely boyfriend arrived :') Headed to Tasha's house to grab Azra's handbag and then the 2 girls wanted Nasi Lemak. Dropped them home and went to McDonald's drivethru with the one and only Haikal Hamzah♥ We headed to Section 12's Helipad after that. It was just great. Nothing exciting about the hill, but just knowing he's there with me , completed my day :') And that was just it.

Saturday, 131110

Woke up , woke Haikal up , spent talking to him for hours and hours . And that was just it :)

Sunday(today), 141110

Pretty much the same thing I did yesterday , lol

Yes as you can see , I spend my days mostly with ze boyfriend. Heh call me lifeless but who gives a fuck. At least he cares enough to stay with me day and night :) Everything is just fine for me . Just simply fine.

Less than three

I less than three you , enough said.

Whole hearted♥

After all the pain , after all the shits , after all the struggling , and after all the tears..

I'm finally back on my feet again :')

I hope he's worth the wait. I hope he's going to stay. I hope he's going to be the one♥

Dear loser ,
I think I've been gone through enough. Like seriously, enough. You showed up and lighten up everything. You came without a greeting. Without an invitation. You came only as a friend, and that's all you intended to be. And now.. you're my boyfriend. I don't dare to ask myself how it happened. I only thank God for letting it happen. I am surely thankful to have you, and I am damn proud to say that I own you. I've never thought I'd end up being inlove with a retard loser that laughs like a chicken. You are one of the most annoying pain in the ass yet lovable retard loser I've ever known. Thank you for your everlasting insults and teasing , but then again you know how to draw that smile on my face again :') Face it , I've gone all googlywiggly inlove with you Haikal Hamzah♥

08112010 ; 1.04am

I've been counting seconds ever since. You're the best thing I ever knew I needed :')

It's been a while

Holy Jizz, it's been almost 2 months since I last updated this dead blog of mine. Well let's just hope I keep updating more later. IF I don't laze around anymore hihi :)

What's been going on ? Pretty much this and that. Mostly shits but yeah I've made it through in one piece :) I say the same thing each time I update about my life , shits happen , what can I do ? That's just how it goes. Life's a bitch and then you die . Like it or not, you still have to face it. Get it? FACE. IT. Being emotional and fucked up is not something you should judge about someone, cause yeah, who are you to judge people's emotions ? Mood swings keep on coming every now and then , gahh fucking hate it. It's wrecking my thoughts with all these crappy negative thinking. Wish there was an 'Escape' button , tsk :/

Finals finally ended 2 weeks ago and bloody hell , my grades ain't prettayy. Ain't prettay at all man. I wish to burn my report card once I get it. Then again , pretty much am relieved I passed my addmaths hihi. Starting to search for tuitions already. Need to get them before January , so I wouldn't miss out on anything and I need to freaking revise all the form 4 topics. Interrrresting ... not really. I'll be turning 17 in 2 months and I can't believe how time pass by so fucking fast. Me and Aten were saying how it feels as if it was just yesterday we were having our vacation together after UPSR results 4 years ago. Damn. That fast. We're ending school in a year and then what happens next? Let's find out.

Oh guess what? Betrayal and cruelty is the newest trend now :) People bitch to get famous , bestfriends betray for their own happiness , boys / girls cheat to get a better looking person , and breaking hearts seems like a new game. Tafakkk ? When will there ever be peace and happiness in this world. *sigh

Sincerely,

Icky♥