Stand up

I've been away for this  few days. Too much in my head , will be okay soon i hope :) toodles

Raise your voice ,

Mama made lasagna today, and i felt reaally guilty eating it. I'm gaining weight *sigh* I can't believe i have less than a month left to spend the holidays before i head for UK. Sheeeesh. I still need to find boots. If anyone has any idea where i can get very very comfortable boots that's suitable for winter and lots of walking , please tell me -.-

Ariff is in McD right now , playing cards perhaps. I'm at home, lazing around in my room , on my bed with my laptop on my lap. What a fun day, pfth . Okay it's not that i don't wanna post anything , but it's just that i don't know what to post. I've been giving too much attention to Tumblr , sorry blogspot. Aaaa, it's raining , i wanna take a nap, goodnight xxx

Guilt

Aaa i've been crazy about Tumblr till i ignored Blogspot completely. All my posts lately are dull and useless, pthh.

Sorry blogspot :(

Get wet ,

Today was , great :) Not to mention wet and tiring , uhh very (!) I fell asleep again while talking to Ariff , but good thing the webcam turned off before i fell asleep , hihi suddenly i was being thankful to my gay internet connection. Thanks to Ariff for playing Counter Strike and leave me alone waiting till he finish, fuuunnnn -.- Mmg confirm tertdo ah kan. So Hakim woke me up around 1 something, we were heading to OU for flyfm 4th anni. I got up and straight head for the showers , got ready , ate lunch and by 3 something everyone was ready so we hit the road. Arrived around 4, Meme dropped me and Hakim first , he was off to somewhere else pfthhh.

I met up with Zarith, went to Jetty to meet his friends. Naim , Naim's brother , 2 guys and 3 girls ,i forgot the names , my bad -.- Then i met some othet people there. Went in and met up with Ariff(: in front of MPH. Teman dia carik buku sumpah annoying , suruh tanya taknak tanya , hish. I bumped into Airene, Wawa, Rose, Nick, Ema, Bella. It was freaking packed. I was thankful to get a call from my baby Amaa :) She was with her ex hihi. 4 of us just sat there in front of A|X for quite long. I met Fauzan haha setahun dah tak jumpa dia , serious rindu gila :') I also met Ferd, Anep, Rahman, Mush, Ayang, Thariq, Naddy, Teha, Eryn, Syed, Wan, Alepo, Laila, Fielza, Fir, Shidi, Apis, Fiera, Wanie, Farah and some other people i can't really recall right now. I was happy to see Nina but at the end of the show , pfthh -.- I saw Aiman Monir, so went to him then suddenly i saw Akmal a.k.a botak haha. Yeah , met tons of people , it was great since it's been ages since i last went out and socialize. The performance was great , spending time with Ariff was the best, the rain made us wet and look freaking sakai haha. But what ever it is , i still had fun , haha :)

Take five,

Sleep sleep sleep , i need more sleep :O I haven't got that enough sleep for these past few days , damn it. Just imagine those panda eyes, aww so cute right ? PFTH haha say hello to eyebags :) I watched This Is It on Wednesday in Cineleissure. Went shopping with mummy and sister before the movie started. Didn't shop that much , just a beanie and a sweater. The movie was great , i thought i was the only one who cried , eeek i was wrong. Even my sister cried , haha. It's sad now that he's gone :'( Yesterday mama went to OU but i was left at home alone with the maid, Cause i fell asleep , bahaha, Good thing she bought me this nice cardigan from Cotton On , me liiiike :D

I was trying to sleep at 3.30am cause Dzul said we should go off together , i agreed but sooooomebody wanted to stay a bit longer. Until 4.15am , i couldn't take it so i told him i'm off to bed. Uhh i was wrong , Apit had to call at that late hour. He got a free call , no it is not his birthday today lol , he got it for no reason , babi ah Hotlink , nak jugakkk.

I felt like i slept only for 5 minutes. 9.15a.m sharp my sister woke me up and asked me to get ready. I was like whaaa ? She said we're off to KL , damn it. We went for breakfast then shoot for KL. We stopped in Sungei Wang, as i stepped in i saw some gorgeous shoes. It was a white gladiator wedges zipped up at the back and it was above the heels. But mummy told me to be patient, we'll be spending more during Boxing Day later in UK. Waitt , did i tell you i'm off to UK for 3 freaking weeks in december ? Well yeah , i am -.- I'm gonna miss 3 parties , pfthhh whatever , at least i get to shop haha. Uhh back to today, we shopped a lot , i mean like A LOT. I got my self 2 skinnies , 1 tights , 3 tops , 2 sleeveless , 4 long sleeves, 1 belt and a cardigan some more hihi. I love you mummy <3 Today was very tiring , now i just want to sit back and relax or maybe sleep , seriously i am hell sleepy.

Aten and Tyka , i miss you babies. Weyna , be ready for me next week. Syra , Cheras is not that far from Bangi hihi. Nina , sorry i couldn't make it today , sobsob. I love you girlfriends <3

Forgive me ,

I'm sorry , i really am. If only you could put your self in my shoes for a minute or two, then tell me what will you do.

Huff and Puff

I went to school two days in a row , yeay me :) And i didn't skip , not even a session. I am so proud of me , round of applause. 4th November 2009 , yeah I barely slept , stayed awake till 6.30a.m , then mom came in asking me to get ready for school. I stayed up wasting time with Youtube and chatting with this gay ass pervert i love named Ariff :p Yeah , i talked to Zarith till 1.30am and it was time for him to go to bed , he's having exams till next week bahaha . I went to school with these very red eyes and terrible eye bags. I am not fucking stoned , i repeat I am fucking clean -.- pfthh morons. I fell asleep with my contact lens on , and it turned red and very irritating , get it ? Good ! So as i was just about to lie down in the APD room, Pn Rugayah came up and asked me to follow to the teachers room. She needed help to type for the certificates. As i was having recess with Syaza, then all of a sudden our duty keep on coming and coming. We had to check the after recess attendance , we had to hand out the letters , we had to run to the office, run back and forth from the hall to the library and finally stopped at the teachers room. Yes , i love teacher for giving us RM5 for all the running , sweat and aching. Did i mention somebody switched their shoe with mine? Yeah , what a day *sigh

So i came home tired as ever , went online and there was Ariff greeting me , yeay (: And suddenly AimanMonir said hi also, and then so did Zarith. Had a short chat , took my shower and waited for Meme to send me to Azra's. While i was waiting at the couch, yeah go figure, i fell asleep for an hour. Mama woke me up and off to her house. Met her mom who was quiet ill, and then Idzhar came pick us up, and picked Ayie up on the way. We went to McD for something to eat , hell yeah we were hungry. So me and Azra were talking talking talking about a certain someone , hihi then we laughed our ass of over something i can't mention here. Got our food and off to the Section 12 Helipad. We ate our food so me and Azra went out and sat by the car, having some ciggs. Then suddenly Ayie looked at us with a very blurr face and his mouth half opened, revealing the BigMac he was chewing. Not only that , he also had Mayonnaise all over his mouth. It cracked us up by just looking at him. And suddenly my mind turned dirty, BAHAHA yeah i'm gonna keep it to myself , Dah sedaaaap kan Idzhar ;p So they dropped us at DE , and there i met Shidi, Mazrul and Apis. Yeah i wanted to laugh looking at the two bald heads, hihi i miss them though awww. Then Azra tagged along to come home with me , we had our burgers again , and brother sent her home :)

Ordinary , plain , dull yet full of laugh. Yeah , what a day .

Sincerely,
Icky♥

We've made it

Highlight of the day : I finally get to meet Amaaaalove♥

241009; Yeah just like any other ordinary after-pmr-day , i would wake up around 12 in the afternoon or maybe after. I grabbed my towel and took my shower , ahhh fresh . I went downstairs to grab something to eat , breakfast lah konon. Then my aunt asked me to wake the boys up , i grabbed a piece of sandwhich and a cup of tea and went up to the boys room. I jumped on the beds , pulled some ears , pulled the curtains , and screamed as loud as i could , but still no respond. So i gave up , lol. I watched tv , went online , and played guitar hero. Suddenly around 4 something Amaa called and said she's in Shah Alam , gave her my address and tadaa , there she was in front of my house. Me with my polkadotted pants and a tshirt Adb gave me , went out with a sincere smile. It was kinda awkward wearing that tshirt , cause both me AND Amaa are Adb's ex , har har. Then took some pictures , laughed together and met her oh so friendly friends and she took off. Went in then Mama told to get ready , going to the vet cause something's wrong with Mika. Mika is one of my cats btw haha. Went to the vet , and looked for a Public Bank cause Ajeem wanted to pay the Astro bills. So yada yada , went back then went out again around 8 , to eat yong tau foo in section 7. On our way back to the car after dinner , something embarrassing happened , to me only that is. i kinda slipped cause i didnt realize there were stairs , and i fell exactly on my butt , har har not funny . It hurt alot and i swear there were a drop or two of tears in my eyes. And that was practically it. Went home , go online , and then talked to Mrl and Adam about an hour or two on the phone , then i fell asleep while talking to Nayim , i think hahaha.

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Empty jar ,

Okay i thought 13th October would actually be relieving . But seriously , i felt nothing. Yeahhh , i know , weird huh? I felt like jumping but i didn't want to . I felt like screaming , but i didn't want to. I felt like partying all night , but i couldn't. Nothing really changed, still treated the same just the fact that we're not pushed to study, FOR NOW *sigh* Let's just live with the fact. I've been trying to fill my time writing at least something interesting here , but nahh i haven't really got the inspiration. I'm lame , sobsob haha. I'm not going to waste my time thinking about that certain asshole , or even write about him here. Let's just say he turned out to be the worst out of the worst, yeah you know i'm talking about you jerk. I've been wasting time with guitar hero, lookbook, scribbling, movies and eateateat , howwww interesting right ? I knowww.

I would like to say thanks to Haziq , yes the very helpful yet caring and kerek cousin of mine . And the very loving friends , Azra Nina Nayim Zul Syra Faris Anith Rahman Akmal Appl Saby Amaa and Siti. Yeah they have been here for me all the way and i really , i mean REALLY appreciate it from head to toe , inside and out. I have no idea in what other ways to say thank you. Haziq has been here with me day and night , hearing to me babble , helping me through misery , and giving me advices and cheering me up in a very kerek way. Azra , Nina , Syra , Anith , Saby , Appl , Siti and Amaa are rocking girlfriends that gives me advices and lift my spirits up all the way. Nayim Zul Faris Rahman and Akmal , hoyeah hero lah katanya ahaha. They've been supportive and caring , too much actually. I love you guys to bits , thanks for being there for me♥

091009♥

I had a big fight with E till i finally asked him to let me go. But thank god , he didn't. Instead he said he wanted to see me, so we met that night. I walked down to kfc and there he was with Adam. So we laughed all night , till Azra arrived. Yeah man , it was a perfect night , well it seemed like it was going to be. We walked till Section 3 park, it was just fine until those fools came making a fuss. I swear i felt like burning their car down , just because you have cars with so-called-cool engine , doesn't mean you're all that, like seriously. E was kinda pissed , i could tell but whatever it was nothing. So we went back to kfc cause it was getting really annoying. We sat down and settled off there. Sddnly we stopped talking to each other , i don't know what got in to him but i was kinda getting used to it. Then when i was going to walk back home , he walked up to me and was like teasing me for taking off just like that. We argued for a minute or two and ended it with him hugging me and saying sorry with a kiss on the cheek , now that deserves an 'aww' . So he walked me back home , with Adam escorting us with the bike, ahah goofy much. We arrived safely, and he swept me off my feet with just a kiss. Then he hugged me and whispered those 8 letter , 3 words that means more than anything. I love you gemuk <3

Time to go ,

I'll be away to Melaka for 3 days, Sunday till Wednesday that is. Crash course with dearest Mother. All I'll be doing for now is study , either it's enough or not , who knows. At least i try , right ? :)

Nayim and Asyraf , don't miss me too much okay hahahahhaa .

PMR is like around the corner so i'll also be away till 13th of October, crap (!) Wish me luck people.

To anyone i've ever done anything wrong , harsh words or stupid act that might hurt your feelings in anyway , i would like to say sorry from head to toe, inside and out. Forgive me alright , and do wish me luck .

So , i repeat , I WILL BE AWAY TILL 13th OCTOBER , sobsob (!)

Sincerely,

Icky♥

Suck it up ,

I have not been updating for several reasons and i don't think i need to mention it again. 25 days to go , yeah you know what i'm talking about. I just want it to be here now and end fucking fast, please. So , people who i may have done something wrong or say something harsh , mind my words and stupid act , i would like to say sorry from head to toe , inside and out. I really do mean it , hihi. Take care , and wish me luck

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Take a walk ,

Cherish sweet memories , push away the bad ones. Forget the past , live the present and dream the future. See what happens today , and wait what happens tomorrow. Cry and laugh at this very second , guess what's going to happen in a blink of an eye. Some die , some live. Some cry , some scream. Some laugh , and some smile. We walk this path where ever it takes us , how far it goes we'll never know ;

Gibberish ,

Yo, i haven't been updating. Shoot me (!) Don't blame me hunny , blame the freaking Board Of Education , ngehaha . Trials was bad , REAAAAAAALLY bad , so don't ask , pretty please. Another exam coming up on Tuesday, shit. More papers , more and more papers. Stop killing trees please :| I've been texting Syed and Ary only today , watch more and more dvd's , and of course study. Mom has been stressing again , but i hate to point it, they'll say more things to make me feel like dropping all these *sigh* Humans these days shock me with their unbelievable act, it's jaw dropping and head spinning. I wonder when all these would stop , it's about to start World War III don't you think? All of them are chasing something that's not worth the effort. Why ache for something that won't bring you forward. No shortcuts , please, it never works. What's going on with the world, somebody speak to me (?) I'm getting a bad soar throat , so i'm off , toodles.

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Climb

Let's live today and dream tomorrow. Plan the future right , the bright lights are calling. When everything starts to collide , take a look who's there by your side. You're never going through this alone. We'll fall together , climb up together , and don't ever look back of what's pulling you down. It's not about the money , it's not about the fame , it's not about all the people praising you. It's about friendship , trust and honor. You don't just take it , you'll have to earn it. But i see now that people don't care about all that , it's the passions that we all ache for. Else for me , i'm chasing for the brightest of the brightest. Them who will always be there and i know they will. When memories fade , we have got each other. If theres anyone who can cast away all your loneliness and always there by yourside when you're down, don't let go ♥

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Look up high ,

It's a beautiful day, i'll be okay now that you're not away. Yesterday was a terrible day , now that you're here i'm okay. Cause you don't know how much i need you please don't go. You're so wonderful , this i swear , this i know. You oh you , every single thing you do, i'm so proud of you. When you do the things you do , that's so you. So thanks for your help , you shine so bright. You are the star that's in my sky, i am yours and you are mine♥ Every single thing you do, i'm so proud of you. That's so you.

The rocket summer - that's so you

The words are deep and yet so meaningful. It's not like any other gibberish songs. And i dedicate this so someone , someone like you , E♥

Liar

Please try to say more carefully that you no longer need me.
I can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me .

Take a hike ,

Ayuni wrote something in her journal that made me and Mush amazed and silent. It was something so true that made us think further. Don't you see how we seem to dress to impress , and style up yourself so that all eyes are on you ? You intend to lie just so people would notice you and fake a scene so that people could actually see you. How pathetic , don't you think ? Now doesn't that sound familiar peeps , hell yeah. Okay , just a try , put on your basic jeans and tshirt , see if people would still like you that way. And for once , not lie to save your own ass might also be good for people around you. Other people gets the blame for your own bloody act. Feel like a hero now ? You're going no where with what you're doing. No step forward , just a thousand steps backward , and where do you end up ? So near with the crowd yet so far from true friends. I'm not sure you ever heard of it , cause as far as i know you got none .

Excuse me ,

Just a message for you Psycho , Love can not be forced and SHOULD NEVER be rushed. You say you lived for 19 years , and now you're acting like you were born yesterday. Seriously , get a life and start blaming yourself.

Scratch

"something are better left unsaid and unkept , some are just meant to be broken "

kan Ayuni ? :)

Synchronize time

All this while i've been complaining , but who am i to blame. I got no rights to state who's right or wrong. Friends come and go , get use to it. Backstabing , betraying and cheating is the common disease these days , and it's contagious , beware (!) But somehow we sometimes don't realize what we say or do when we feel the blood rushing through our veins and all you ever feel like doing is scream so loud till you lose your voice. Yes , there are several types of bitches and A-holes that can really get on your nerve , and they are the best item to yell at. But a friend can never be blame if you yourself made them mad with or without realizing it. Face it , this is life. Stop blaming and start understanding. Don't mind me if you think i'm talking crap. Toodles

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Look up and down ,

We don't always get what we want and we don't always get what we need. Some words may hurt and some words may sting. But what's worst than a lie ? Do you prefer being with someone who's not only lying to himself but also to you ? Do you feel great finding out the love of your life is actually not that inlove with you ? I know i wouldn't. It's best if we know the truth although how bad it may sting you. So ladies and gentleman , i've done this same mistake more than a gazillion times and i don't think i should be that self centered. We can't blame the other person for saying that he / she doesn't love us. Love is something that can't be forced. The right one will come , maybe not today , not tomorrow nor the next day , but it will still come somehow someway. That's life and life's a bitch , we just have to accept it the way it is. Don't blame 'Big Bang' for happening. We're located somewhere in Milky Way, and somewhere else around us will be our lifetime partner. I don't know , neither do you. All we have to do is just wait , my pal :)

Going up

Let's fly hiiiiigh up ! :)

2 days has passed and 4 more days to go. Trials has been a massive headache. Thank god i could answer my maths paper smoothly , not that smooth but literally. I could swear i felt like sleeping through out all the extra time i had but i couldn't , cause i felt like rechecking the papers. Lucky me i found several mistakes and i was lucky enough to redo everything. Yeay me. The clock ticking seemed pretty loud , maybe cause i couldn't wait till this freaking trials is over. Can't imagine when PMR is dead and gone, wait maybe i can... yeah i can see me running around and screaming 'im free!' all over again. Can i please have a time machine ?

Fiction

Life is just a puzzle you need to solve on your own. Think of it as a game, play it like a competition. Compete to be the best of the best , not the best out of the worst. Being on top isn't always all that, it's never that interesting at all. Nerve wrecking and heart breaking moments i've been through them all, at a moment it hurts but then i'll take it as a missing piece of this unsolved puzzle. Ecstatic and heart warming moments i cherish every single second, and it's definitely one of the missing pieces. Trust me , honesty is the best policy , it was proven right by my naked eye. Highschool is a nervous breakdown stage. You'll end up having all these mixed up emotions you can never imagine having, but yet in the end family and friends will always be the one you'll turn to♥

Bitch on the role ,

Highlight of the week : i finally met my SabyBabyyy (:

Yeah , after not getting to meet her during cheercomp and some other tries , i finally met her. I went to her superawesomesweet17th (: It was great , the food was the best , and her family was friendly. I dragged Faris and Azra along with me , i was suddenly shy to go. But i met Amal , Aiman , Hadi , Afiq , and some other people. I also met Man and Anep again , sheesh i miss them , a hell lot actually. Anyways , HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABREEENAAAA <3

Life has been great , just smooth and steady perhaps , although there were several bumps i had to go through. Whatever , i'm still standing , yeay me. My daily partner are now exercise books , yeah Maths , Sejarah , Agama , Geo and Science , i liiiike , NOT haha. Trials is just 4 days away and yet i'm still not ready, DIE DIE DIE (!) I've got back on track with people i really need, and those who are not that important , you may go. Why would i need these assholes spoiling my mood everyday ? I love being me and i love them who are around me now. I don't need anyone else but them. I moved to the front of the class so no more texting during Sejarah , boo hoo :(
It was nice to spend time with Azra for 3 days , seriously i really want to take care of her, but someone keeps getting in the way, wonder who that is :) At 4++am last night i called Bo , just to see how's E doing , and suddenly he said " eh dia carik you tadi , dia mintak number you kt i " I was like "oh skrng baru nak carik lah , tukar number bukan reti nak bgtau , dah sebulan baru lah nak carik , terbaiiiik " then Bo membebel tah apa tah , and he asked me to call E. And so i did. He was suprised and he wanted to see me , and so Raff drived me and Azra to 7E to buy Maggi and we waited for E for several minutes and he arrived. He met Raff , tehee. Haprik and Boy was also with him , they were drunk. Stupid drunk monkeys. I'm glad E came back after all this while i've been waiting. I love you , thats what he whispered in to my ears (: woot , i'm so going to keep you.

This section is for this certain someone. Dear bitch, you have been getting on my nerves and i've been too nice with you. Don't screw this up or else you'll regret you ever were in Shah Alam. Fuck all your so called goody goody two shoes words , cause you're a selfish stuck up wanna be biatch. I'm tired of people coming to me talking about you and asking stuffs cause they think i'm you're freaking bestfriend , pfth not even close 'buddy' . Aku kesian kat kau , paham tak ? Aku kasi muka , kau pijak kepala. Macam pukimak tau tak perangai tu. You and you're shitty attitude can get the hell out of Shah Alam and take your dad with you. He's nothing but a stuck up too.

Sincerely,
Icky♥

Life's stresses

Friends come and go , family stays as the rivers flow. The one you can always count on can be a bestfriend , but most important are those who has been there for you your whole life. Regrets and mistakes , i've met them all. I guess sometimes life's stresses gets you down, you intend to rebel more because of what they say. Because of my stupid act , i found out a lot. Friends suck at this very moment, and family is my priority. They were there all the way and they didn't give up , well at least some of them. I don't really fancy meeting the others who did. Made promises and satisfied for the results. What i did 2 nights ago was stupid , i have to admit. Way out of league and takes a lot of courage and you have to be way selfish to be able to do so. I didn't think of anyone else but just me, how selfish pfth. They opened up my eyes and cleared up my mind from all those fucking problems that screwed me up. I'm sorry for everything and everyone that got involved in this, i shouldn't have dragged any of you down with me. Thanks for all the support , help and advices. Let's just hope for a better change (:

Stop , drop , roll

You can't imagine the words i'll say to make you mine♥

A confession i have to make today, something i've been lying to myself for a loooong time. I miss being in love and i miss being loved. Totally different feelings. And i hate this thoughts i've been having lately. Sheeeeesh , go awaaaaay stupid thoughts , shooh ! School has been very very boring and dull. I've been sleeping in class , the teacher barely enters the class , ain't my fault then , hihi . i think i like him , shut up . Seriously , i don't feel like blogging. Don't really know what else to spill , cause honestly i have no idea what i'm thinking. Yeah , pretty empty. Toodles.

xoxo,
Icky♥

Once upon a fairytale

I've read something very true in Lola's profile. We seem to listen the bad side of someone but never intend to know the good side. We judge the outside of someone , but never seem to care about the inside. We sit and enjoy the pleasure of seeing people frown and miserable with they're life , wishing they had a better one. We prefer to sit and talk about someone who barely did anything to us, but we never realize the good things she / he ever did. No , this is not exactly how she wrote , but this is the synopsis though. How cruel can humans these days be. Cold heart and no sense of guilt. Yeah , that's probably it. I can't say that i don't talk shit , but maybe there's just a limit to it. Everybody needs friends , everybody needs some peace and privacy in they're own life. We do our part by not invading any of it. Easy come , easy go.

Okay, on monday i met E. He came to see me at Iera's house. Hell yeah , i missed him alot. I followed him to see his manager, he wanted some cash. I'm still not used to his bald head hahaha. I miss F also , it's been a week since i last met him. Hmm , hope to see you tonight. Today , Bo came to Iera's house to see me. How sweet of him , i know haha. And he gave me 10bucks , woot ! I love you Bo♥ hahaha. We talked a lot since it has been ages since we actually sat down together and talked. He had loads to tell and so did i. I can always count on him.

PMR is in less then 3 months , what am i doing now? Wasting my time doing nothing. Yes , i want to work harder but i never seem to try. I don't know why. Come on Icky , you know you can. *screams* Trials in 5 weeks , and i can't even get A for Sejarah , BM and Maths. Stupid youuu, go do some reading ! No offense , i'm talking to me. Now there's really something wrong with me, haha. E is calling , later.

xoxo,
Icky♥

Biiitch (!)

Aku cakap kau bodoh , nanti kau marah. Aku cakap kau tak reti malu , batak and obsess jantan nanti kau kata aku pukimak. Haha but sadly i am not the only one saying it :) how can i ever change you? How can i ever make you realize you are not ALL THAT? You're only embarassing yourself. You got issues and you really need some attitude adjustment. Enough with you're bitchy attitude , everybody's getting sick of it. Even i am , but you never seem to understand when i tell you. Comes in your right ear and comes out from your left. Please , have some sense of human. Make a stop to this nonsense of yours.

Sincerely,
Icky♥

I've got you now ,

100 days to go people , dont forget to inhale and exhale. Yes , i am talking about PMR , sadly i'm a fucking candidate *smiles* Went to Cheercomp with dearest brother today. Woke up at 7.30 for breakfast with siblings and parents, came home and get ready straight to Bukit Jalil. It was nice to finally meet Atilia , Fiqa , Virginie , Izyan , Kroll , Amer , and a bunch of other people i can't seem to recall. Sheesh. Yeah i saw Fizzy the bald head too , har har. Lama tak nampak batang hidung budak tu. Budak baik katanyaaa ;p Spent most of the time with Atilia and Fiqa though , hee. Rinduuuuuuuu *hugs* Oh report card day went fine btw , yeah i know it's been ages but whatever. I've been lazy to go online , haha . I saw D and he was effin cute, i am absolutely effin happy E came back , F has been effin sweet and sadly there is no G heee . Sedih tak dapat jumpa Saby and Rose , haihh. Okay dah penat , esok sekolah.

xoxo ,
icky♥

Dooms day

Open day is this Thursday, and for the first time in my highschool years, i told my mom about it. She didn't have to find out herself , har har. She smiled though, but i didn't. My grades are still pretty much a mess. Mostly all of it i improved, but heck not that type of improvement my parents are looking for. Pfth. I've been listening to emotional songs with powerful lyrics the whole day, and don't ask me why. Me myself has no answer to that question. I slept for 1 hour plus today in class. But thanks for Ajib and some other chaotic seniors of mine for shaking the table , it woke me up. Sheesh.Then walked around school, bumped in with Ustad , yes my favourite Ustad of all. HAHA. He is still rude though, i hate you , heee. Okay bottom line i had fun yesterday , thanks F :) and i'm off. toodles .

xoxo,
icky♥

Nothing ,

Why didn't i run before i fell? Why didn't i turn back when i had time. Why did i choose to get hurt. But now i made a different choice. I chose to surrender the good things that happened to me. Yeah, the laughs and smiles we shared, those moments we had. Let it go, i really think so. You want what's best for you and i think i hold that very big part, i'm gonna let you be happy. I'm holding you back from happiness and i think you deserve each and every bit of it. I'm not blaming you for this , cause i think i'm the that should be blamed. I hope you're happy. You want to be free, and now you are. I just have to remind my self that nothing last forever♥

xoxo,
icky♥

Flashback,

Just to let you know , that i actually miss you. Infact , i miss you a lot. Let's meet up someday okay baby :) Let's chase back all the memories we had before♥

Can't you see

If only i could tell you that it's you all this while that made me forget all the missery i'm going through. If only i could let you know you mean more then anything to me. If only you could see that it's you i really need. If only you knew i'm falling for you♥

It's always you A♥

Funny

Rearrange the word Mother In Law and you will get Woman Hitler :)

Swine ,

I miss school , might be the words you won't expect from me at this kind of situation. But hey, shy to say but have to let it out , i fucking miss school. I found out Salwani won't be around till next year , sobsob. Kinda sad though , school's boring without her. No more drama and action. No more running and hiding away from her if i feel like buying a drink at the canteen during lessons. I'll miss you psycho discipline teacher , sobs *sigh* Whatever. I havent been to school for almost a month, yeay me ? Har Har. Not my fault though , blame this flu. Blame this very very very very annoying flu. So have you heard ? "Seorang pelajar Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Seksyen 9 telah disyaki menghidap penyakit H1N1" or whatever they call it. Yeah it was all over the news , and many talked about it. You may find out either ways. It was pretty much the highlight of the year for SMKS9 , lol. After the two weeks holiday, i went to school on the first day. And on Tuesday, i felt my body aching from muscle to muscle, and from bones to bones, i felt so warm inside but cold outside, my voice unable to come out , i could barely speak and my nose was stuffed. So i called my Mom since she was away. And i got 4 days off that week , legally that is , with a doctor's slip *ehem* And so i thought i might be fine this week, bur heck was i wrong :) With my flu still annoyingly around and that swine flu around school , Mama told me not to go and got another doctor's slip for another 4 days. Yeay me (!) Almost a month, how can i not miss school.

Oh , Michael Jackson is dead. Yikes , sobsob. Really sad , i loved his music though. It was all over the news. Tragic. Guess who i found out from ? Faeq :) The first thing he texted me when i woke up, kinda weird though. Haha. Azra and Fiera sleeping over for 2 nights was awesome , kinda feel lonely and quiet without them. Pictures will be uploaded.

xoxo,

icky♥

Adrenaline rush ,

It's been 4 days since i last went to school , bahaha. Feels great though, haha. Still stuck with flu and cough, fucking annoying. Haha but thank god Apis , Abg Khas , Amaa , Tyka , Azra and the rest has been entertaining my days at home. I can't wait to see them tonight , hee it's been a week though. Cousins are coming tonight, for a BBQ my sister planned. So yeah , busy night yo. Toodles.

xxx,
Icky

I wonder ,

Looks can be very deceiving. I don't know if you agree or not , but to me it can. Let's look at it in a guy's view. What do you look for in a girl? Skinny minny high class bootie girls. Perfect skin. Easy to say, gorgeous and good looking. But do they look in the inside. Nope , they don't. Ahah, correct me if i'm wrong gents. But i say what i see. Happens a lot of times. But what if the girl is hideous in the inside. What if she doesnt even have the brains to count 2 + 2 ? What if all she knows is Gucci, Prada, Dolce&Gabbana , FENDI , and whatever other brands there in this world. What if she cares about a broken nail more than she would ever care about a broken heart ? What if she laughs at almost everything cause she's just too slow to develop everything going on around her ? Pfth , i'm saying "what if" ladies, don't get too offended. Sometimes know that someone in the inside before you think about the outside. Looks can be very deceiving , not only about how pretty or goodlooking they are, also about how they dress. Come on girls , you don't expect everyone to buy branded stuffs do you? Well , i don't my parents money that way. If it's nice to wear , wear it. Why care about the brand , pfth. A girl can also be a girl if the only thing she wears is t-shirt and khakhi jeans, you wouldn't know unless you know her, right ? Why judge punks, skaters, indie freaks, or hiphopers by the way they look. Why divide them into cliques ? Sometimes i just don't get it, i don't get it at all. Life can be really funny sometimes. But all i know is, looks can be very deceiving :)

Sayang ,

Empty heart, rolling roller coaster ride, this is how i wreck myself inside, i am tired of being myself, i am tired of being someone else, and i am tired of being here. Shake the bottle, twist the cap, smash it hard, to the ground, hit the mud, cut your ears, see how it turns in a different way, none alike you thought it should be. First, i said i’ve got nothing to live for, she replied, "no." Then, i asked her what that i’ve got to live for, she said, "no, you’re wrong." I am running backward hoping for somebody to catch me before i fall down, before i drown. And we swim to the shore, days come and go, i’ll love you, you will love me, thats all that we need, fuck off everything, we believe in jealousy, i can live but i wish i could die, not yet. Sayang, i am coming home tonight, we will let go everything, just to see how it turns better tomorrow, see i wonder how it could be anything stupid or harder than this.

Well , Pian and Zakwan was singing this song one night when we were in Section 8. And i recorded, i scrolled back to the videos i recorded during the holidays , and suddenly i loved this song. Lol , thanks Pian for telling me the title :) It's deep though. Heee , enjoy. Cheers !

Let go ,

I've been drifting away for quiet long haven't i ? Whatever you want to say or whatever comments you have , keep it to yrself , ayte mate ? :) Cause i'm sick and tired of listening to people commenting me , the way i talk and the way i live my fucking own life. Excuse me , are you THAT perfect ? That's all i want to ask , so answer me bitch (!) Motherfucking lifeless bitch , pfthh !

I just came back from camping last Sunday. It was in Genting , for 3 days. I really didn't want to go. I wanted to beg, but i felt sorry for my dad, he paid big money for that trip. But i want to thank him for that. I had a lot of fun , so many experience and learned a lot. I achieved something i thought i would never achieve. I got an award for best leadership. I know , weird huh Icky winning something ? Finally hahahaha . We had campfire , karaoke night , BBQ . And during free time , we just spend time walking around the chalet , or just wasting our time in the hall , turning out loud music and good around. We were one big family. I thought i'll never find friends there, but thank god i found Rina , Ad and Nadirah (: Yeah , Rina is Adeeb's schoolmate , how freaky , haha. They had the same crazy head as i did. Yeowww ! Ahah. On the last day , before heading back to KL , we had these four obstacles. Fireman crossing , Gribbon crossing , Ninja crossing and Leg Shaking. It's this thing that we have to cross a river on a string :| yeah it was scary , but i had to face it. I was the fucking leader of the team , i couldn't back off -.- One hell of an experience. Go icky ! ahaha. And i arrived Shah Alam safely on Sunday, 6.06pm. End up with a really bad soar throat and annoying flu. Pfth.

I skipped school for 2 days , yeeha. Mama and Papa are away, but that's not the reason i skipped school though -_- I have an MC okay , legally hereeee. Yeah, i couldn't get my head up yesterday. So went to the clinic and blabla got an MC for two days. So that means i have to go tomorrow , bummer. Sick of school cause of Miss you-know-who (: HAHA whatever , she creeps me out anyways. That's all, toodles <3

Icky , xxx

Screwed ,

I should learn how to keep my mouth shut , i really should. I suck at almost everything i do , and i lose people day by day for my stupid bloody act. I'm sorry to everyone that's involved , i'm sorry for everything. I know i'm a trainwreck , gimme some time to fix this. Thanks.

Weirdo ,

Hello (: I haven't update for a long time , sue me for that , boo hoo. Well , i seem to see more then just internet in life. Woah :O So not me , i knoww. But yeah , i've been making myself busy so that i won't have to think about all the assholes and rotten creeps out there (:

I did nothing but just eat and eat and eat today . Call me fat , but i don't seem to care. Bahaha. Last night was too gay , and i hope tonight will be another night full of laughs. I need all this stress out of me (: I've got a weird friend, say hello to my new friend Asyraf. Yes he is so weird that i get goosebumps each time he speaks. See how weird he is :|

asyrf . says:
youu kn resah nak PMR
asyrf . says:
hahahahahha
asyrf . says:
tak tengok tv ?
Icky , says:
haha babi , i taknak pikir pasal pmr for this 2 weeks lah ass !
Icky , says:
shut upp -.-
Icky , says:
tv yg tengok i skrng ni
Icky , says:
haha
Icky , says:
my baby cousin nak tengok ben10 , mmg tak lah i tengok kan -_-
asyrf . says:
haha ,
asyrf . says:
ben 10 ?
asyrf . says:
best laa cerita tu sial .
asyrf . says:
dier boleh tukar tukar ,
asyrf . says:
memang tak tengok ah ,
asyrf . says:
hahahahaha
Icky , says:
sometimes i wonder are you seriously 18
Icky , says:
hahha
asyrf . says:
hahahahahahhaha ,
asyrf . says:
i am !
asyrf . says:
TENGOK IC LAA SIAL
asyrf . says:
hahahahahaha
Icky , says:
nah , i think yr a 10 year old stuck in a 18 year old body
Icky , says:
Lol , i pitty you boy
asyrf . says:
hahaha ,
asyrf . says:
yeah ,
asyrf . says:
i wish i was 17 again ,
asyrf . says:
pfft ,
asyrf . says:
hahahahahaha
asyrf . says:
bajet zac efron lak ,
Icky , says:
takyah nak perasan sangat ah kan ;p
Icky , says:
imma call you capcap
Icky , says:
haha
Icky , says:
jangan tanya asal
Icky , says:
suka hati aku ah nak panggil apa ;p
Icky , says:
i am annoying , live with it (:
asyrf . says:
hahahahahahaha
asyrf . says:
nak panggil i capcap ?
asyrf . says:
i panggil youu ,
asyrf . says:
crapcrap ,
asyrf . says:
okay /
asyrf . says:
?
asyrf . says:
hahahahaha
Icky , says:
fakyu asshole

He is one hell of a weirdo , but he cracks me up. Bodoh , macam dah kenal 10 tahun , padehal tak sampai seminggu -_- Don't be too proud , i'm not your number one fan , yet :) HAHAHAHA

Friend ,

I had a friend , at least i thought she was a friend. But she showed her true colors in the end. I've seen her random acts alot , what she did to my other friends and they always tell me to stay away from her and don't trust her. But all i could say was " As long as she didn't do anything wrong to me , why should i stay away? She's my friend , and i love her ". Right at this very moment, i seem to regret everything i used to say about her, i regret pushing away everything people told me about her, i regret ever trusting her. She convinced me but then she lied, she made me trust her but then she stabbed me in the back, she made me believe her but then she made me have all these regrets. Now i realize i'm better off without her , but it hurts me a lot to lose someone i used to trust.

Save a life

What a beautiful morning. The clocks ticking , and time is wasting. I'm doing nothing, just sitting here blogging. trying to figure out everything, everything that actually seems to be nothing. Life can be very complicating, sometimes even annoying. You just keep thinking, but in the end you get nothing :) Okay, i have no idea what i was saying, i guess i should really stop crapping. Mother woke me up at 8, but i continued my sleep till 10. Got nothing to do , so brushed my teeth and washed my face. Went to the kitchen and got my mushroom soup done with 2 pieces of toast. Went upstairs to the balcony for a cigarette , and grabbed the remote. Today seems boring. Cause tomorrow seems to be an adventure. How childish can they be, as if cheating is suuuuch a crime, pfth. I got one tip , GET A LIFE bitch. Each time i stand up, something keeps pushing me back to the ground. Lifeless people , that's right. What can i do now? Keep on standing and stay strong (?) Oh , how that sounds so easy, but not exactly. Problems coming to me like a river. It never stops flowing. And i definitely need a life jacket. Watch out people, the world war is coming near, cause nobody seems to understand peace. That's all for now .

Inhale

Where did i go wrong this time? Friends that i thought would stay longer , already left without a single goodbye. Leaving me clueless , leaving me asking myself why. And i thought if i have to go through this any longer, i think i might end up going crazy. But hey, i got CiyaaEelaHaziqEpulWeynaTyka♥ to help me stand up. Dont ever fall again, that's what i keep telling myself, they've been lifting my spirits up. Thank god (: Well , yeah , KARMA BABYY ! What goes around comes around. I mess with someone's life only if she / he mess with me. I don't come bugging or talking shit about people that barely exist in my life, unlike someone , kau terasa lebih pahal ? Diam sudah (: I've talked shit , and i get back shit, correction , way more shit anyone can ever wish for. And i finally give up. Fullstop here, if i talk bad about her, you wanna go around and say shits, well now i'm friends with her. Happy? So just shut your pile hole (: Please and thank you. Go ahead and act bitchy, cause seriously you're too fake to handle. Say anything you want about me, but i don't act like a plastic, hehe. Thanks for making me stronger to all you haters out there. Peace out, icky♥

Spell it for me ,

Life has been a chaos , but hey what's life without chaos :) I'm still breathing , and yeah thank god (!) I lost my money yesterday , alot of it. But i intend to shut up about it, not even bother to tell my parents. You know what, i dont really have the mood to blog right now. See ya.

Consideration ,

Exams in 3 weeks or less, and i still got 8 subjects and loads of chapters to review. Damn it. I'll be away again. toodles <3

Can you keep up

Okaaaaaay i woke up today and found out i'm not goin back to Seremban after all :) Bahaha , so i continued snoozing till Eesya had to wake me up -.- While i was watching tv , Megat called *keningkening* Random gila babi. And so..

Megat : yo budak kecik , wassap berasap man
Icky : yo budak besar , you're still so very lame.
Megat : Aww i miss you too , *laughs*
Icky : Eh jangan nak perasan sangat ah kan, who's calling who ? aww i know you miss me , alolo
Megat : Okay shut up, dah bye

He actually hung up , for real. I guess he was expecting me to call back , too bad i fell asleep balik HAHA. So then he called back ..

Icky : apaaa ? *suara mengantuk*
Megat : Cibai you lah sohai , kau boleh tidur aku merajuk
Icky : boleh je , nyenyak doh *laughs*
Megat : Eff you mofo
Icky : i love you too

Then he was pissed , he said stuffs i barely understood. I told him about inhale and exhale , and so he tried. Goodboy(: haha. So yeah , he called to inform about A'an's suprise party. Again, a pool party , woot woot. I am glad it is AFTER midterms.

Icky : I've got a midterm to think about , why screw my head about HIS party. Go call Nasha , i bet she has brilliant ideas
Megat : You know i hate her , and chill you'll do fine for the exam. I got yr back , aren't i sweet ?
Icky : no , when you said you got my back , you actually meant " i'll be ready to laugh at you when you cry about yr bad grades " eff you asshole
Megat : Hey , dont blame me for being too cool.
Icky : i wanna puke , BYE
Megat : eh jappp ! answer one question only cann a ? pwetty pwease
Icky : Apa diaaaaa ?
Megat : You remember that skinnies Hannah gave me ?
Icky : yeah what about that up tight skinnies ?
Megat : do you think i'll look fat if i wear it for the BBQ ?
Icky : HAHA you gay ass mofo , stand infront of a mirror and go figure Einstein.
Megat : Fuck you , how ever can A'an stand you
Icky : cause i'm way cooler than you can ever be
Megat : sheeeeeesh , BYE
Icky : *Laughs* BYEEEEEEEE GAY

I love you too , Sheikh Megat (:

So my day was pretty boring , yada yada yada. I have to admit , Z really did dig the hole bigger. But heck, i guess i'm the fool in this case. Fuck, i love you still, Z )':

Despite the fact

Clocks ticking and i lost count how many times i yawned. Tomorrow off to Seremban, yikes more weddings and unknown relatives again. Daaaamn -.- I decided to write a list of things i want and want to do.

1. to die for gladiators
2. 8 A's for pmr
3. respectful friends
4. spend a day without caring about people and just play guitar heroes
5. waste time taking pictures on the rooftop
6. spend a day playing in the rain with Aten
7. sleepovers with Weyna
8. Laughing with Tyka
9. Crapping with Atilia
10. Hug Anith till she turns blue
    
11. Meet Fiqa , Virginie and Shela
12. Shop till i drop again in Bandung
13. Roadtrip with pals , no parents allowed.
14. Genting with loved ones
15. PD trip for new year.
16. Spend a whole day in the beach without getting sunburns
17. Learn how to play guitar
18. Start writing and drawing again
19. Find my inspiration for number 17 again
20. Scribble t-shirts some more
21. Bake cupcakes , cookies and cakes.
22. MONEY MONEY MONEY
23. Go merempit with Syakir
    
24. odd jobs after pmr :)
25. Dresses and tank tops , hoyeah
26. Write songs again
27. Text Syafiq Megat *sobs
28. spend a day with haziq, hee
29. Meet Ajeem in KLCC again.
30. Get Audi's awesome sarcasm
31. Figure out how to earn number 28
32. Make Raes wait for four hours again HAHA
33. Smoke ciggs with Azam, Ewan, Esfan and Afiq again
34. Over night with Zakwan and Eddie again

okay dah penat dah , bye .

Keep it ,

It's a little too late for you to come back

You blew it when you had me back then. I have to admit i'll miss it when you call me and tell me yr infront of my house. I have to admit i keep thinking of you when i see your jersey that you gave me or anyone else wearing the exact one. I have to admit it's you that's on my mind when i see that same kind of jersey i gave you. I have to admit i miss kissing you under the tree. I have to admit i miss those phone calls i had with you and how you kept saying how much i mean to you. But sadly, you never showed enough. You proved nothing to me, you only prove that you're just another asshole who sweet talks to every girl he gets. You're so typical. But it's too late now, baby. I'm so far away for you to catch up. It's too late for you to call me and say how you're sorry and asking for me back. It's definitely too late for you to come back !

Note for you

Dear friends, just so you know, i am not that stupid. Don't talk about something you don't want me to know infront of me. Cause obviously, i hate it. A 3 year plus friendship should make you understand that well enough. You're not only fooling me, but also yourself. You're so gullable believing that i don't know a thing. Well, in your face cause to me you're the one who's stupid in this case. Take note : What goes around comes around baby, it's called karma.

Look up

I must say that today was a wet day for me. Woke up at 10 , by Epul's wake up call , thanks dato' i appreciate it so much -.- Then i slept again till 11 something , and woke Shidi up. Then continued snoozing, then Ayong called, already making me laugh till i almost fell of the bed, i repeat , almost (!) Thank god , i didn't *geeky smile* So i decided to just get up, and brushed my teeth. I felt hungry, went downstairs and there was nasi goreng. Watched tv , till 12.30. Siap siap , then off to Permata. Swimming with them, got wet and then Sobri picked me up at Noodle Station and sent me to Nina's waterbash sweet 15. Got wet, again. Anep, Alep, Mek, Haqim, Achik, Faris, Lisa, Lowkey, Izzat ( a new friend ), Nick, Ema , Dee , Laila, Fatin, Fiera, and Thira was there. Then Fir came , i told him stories, as always lah kan. Then i saw Rahman and Sasa going down the hill lying down on a skate board. Crack heads -_-' It made me laugh though, then i got a scar on my finger thanks to Izzat, but i burned his bulu kaki for payback ;p Bahaha. Then went home and here i am onlining like a there's nothing else in this world. Just me , my laptop , chilly cold room and my bed. Niiiice, phone ketepi jap eh , i need some youtube and blogspot (:

Syakir finally admit his my one and only rempit , and yes he officially pronounced me as his one and only minah rempit. He's a newbie , so i have to teach him , ALOT :) hahaha. We're crapping in msn and yes i just have to laugh about this. Thanks to Rahman for listening to what i really wanted to let out for a long time. He's always the right ears for me to spill everything, yeap that's my son alright :) He still calls me mummy , yikes (!)

It's hard when you really need someone you can count on when all the pressure around you is just pushing you down to the ground and everyone around you is acting crappy, but the only people you can count on is so far away and you talk to them once a week only. It's really sad and it hurts real bad. I need them here and now, a s a p. I love you atentykaweynafiqatilia♥ Life has been a bitch. I have been a nerd, but a rebel at the same time, well less rebelious i think. Yes, it is the new me, hard to cope with but heck i have to live with it, cause it's me. Double duhh. Okay , i wanna nudge Haziq now , enough recording lah b, it's US time now , bahaha toodles♥

Too late ,

Today's highlight : basically , sadly , typical nothing -.-
Yeah it was an ordinary boring day. Teachers still making Zzz's , babbling about homeworks and yada yada , pfthh . I am proud to say i got only Sejarah and Geography notes to do and everything is settled. Then i can focus on Sivik folio , lab report , hafazan and PEKA (: yeay me !

okay whatever , goodnight.

New and Fresh

First i would like to say sorry to Mama for all the lies and all those times i ever cheat on you. I know i've been wrong and i know i've been bad. I know shouldn't have done all that and embarassed you in such ways. Second, to Papa for ever fighting back everything you said. You may accuse me and say stuffs about me that made me just think that i don't belong in this family. I regret my mistakes and i realize what i did wrong. I am trying to change, so please don't push me too far. Step by step, don't say i'm not trying hard enough. Nobody would push away that 8A's. And lastly, to siblings i could always count on. You've been struggling to understand me and make sure i won't turn out like any of you. I know i'm the one to blame. Life has been hard and studies has been very stressful, gimme time. I'm trying my best. Peeps and foes, call me geeky or call me freaky, but this is totally the new icky :) 8 A's is all i'm aiming for right now and yes there'll be unwanted changes. You know how it's hard for me to cope with changes, so don't mind me if i get too ego or emoshits. This is simply man, so fuck off -.- I miss going out anytime i want to, just laughing and crapping with people i wish to be with right now. Loved ones i miss the most at this very moment. Day and night i think back of all the times i was half free from this chaotic situation :/ But i guess i'll just have to sacrifice all that for this 6 months. On 16th October 2009 is the day i'll run out and chase back all those sweet memories or maybe create new ones *wink* Just wait for it baby, i'll be there. Just sacrifice a lil for family and most of all myself. It's for my own good. Wish me luck and yeah you'll be strong enough icky *sigh*

Did you ,

Did you forget, that I was even alive? Did you forget everything we ever had? Did you forget, about me? Did you regret ever standing by my side? Did you forget what we were feeling inside? Now I'm left to forget about us. But somewhere we went wrong, we were once so strong. Our love is like a song. You can't forget it. So now I guess, this is where we have to stand. Did you regret ever holding my hand? Never again, please don't forget. We had it all, we were just about to fall even more in love, than we were before. I won't forget, I won't forget about us. And at last all the pictures have been burned. And all the past, is just a lesson that we've learned. I won't forget, I won't forget us. But somewhere we went wrong, our love is like a song. But you won't sing along. You've forgotten about us :'(

Let's look back,

Fatin Izyan Mazlan♥
This girl up here is someone i can never forget, someone i can never stay mad at, someone i can always count on, someone that never forgets me no matter what, someone i've held on to for 3 years♥ Yes, she is my bestfriend. Yes , we have been very far apart these days. Yes, i love her to death. No matter how far we are, she'll still be the one that will always listen to me. 2006, the year we knew each other. Somewhere around June or July, we started chatting in MySpace. Got so close that we were very eager to meet each other. And so, December came. I was having a movie marathon with another friend of mine, gave her a call and she came. She was having a fever so we didn't talk much. But the next day we met again, at the so-called-coolest-lepak-spot in shah alam, MALL. Yeah it was very lame. Then we got closer and closer. Sleepovers, holiday in PD together, late night phone calls :) And then came 2007, she was there EARLY in the morning on my birthday. She gave me a kiss and a hug to make me feel special on a special day :) And she spent the whole day with me, and i appreciated that. And we went through so much more. Thick and thin, good or bad. We still held on to each other. We drifted away for quite some time, but yet she was still there for me ♥ 2007 ended pretty well and came 2008 :) Yeah, more adventures and more crimes. Cut school together, played in the rain, sleeover and took pictures in the middle of the road at 5am, hanged out at rasta till our eyes were half opened, and the library :) Yes, and now i'm ready for a fresh start for 2009. Are you up for it baby ? :D I love you lahhh , no matter what okay. I miss you loads, and i hope we both can make it through PMR. All the best for you, lots of love xxx

Life has been a bummer , and it's a bout time i stop and take a break :) Fuck off problems , fuck off problem makers . You're so not needed here.

Okay so yeah, this week has been very stressful. Teachers won't stop nagging about folios and presentations. Damn it, what do they think we are? Lifeless robots or something -.- homeworks, studying, folios and presentations are filling up my schedule. Not even a minute to just sit back and relax my mind :| Not only that, parents have been very hard to understand. Ask me to get the folio done fast , but when i do it they say i don't focus on studies. And when i study, they don't put that in mind. But when i watch tv or play guitar heros , they'll say i don't study :) Such understanding parents ay? They say i'm grounded. Can't go out with my brother nor my friends, but do they bring me out? NOPE :) They expect me to stay home and not watch tv , go online and play games at all. Oh seriously, no one else to blame if i end up getting a headache during exams, just them. *sigh* Whatever. Something else happened this week , but i don't think i wanna state it here. Let's just let me and them who i told knows what i mean :) But other then that, i think i've been fine. Just need a break i think, just a short break won't harm anyone. Right ? :/

blab it all out

i've haven't been really updating ay , so yeah all i can say is ,i only stayed home during last week's holiday. Yeah , that whole week i was at home :) Baik kannnn? I go out for lunch, dinner or tuition only. Lol, pretty boring, i know. But it was worth it though. I catched up with my studies and i felt good about it. Cause at least i didn't waste my time getting wasted for a whole week , bahaha. But on Saturday i finally went out , but only to Wondermilk that is. Had to tag along with my sis, she was working. I was there from 3pm till 11pm -.- I would like to say thanks to my lovable brother from another mother Raes Aref , for waiting for 4 hours :D haha .

After Raes went back, Farouk came for a while to grab a drink and hanged for few minutes. Then he had to rush back to Shah Alam. I hanged in the office after that, going online and studying Science. I called Adam, and he came :) He hanged out quiet long , took pictures , had dinner with him, and i bought cupcakes for him , teheee . He was really inlove with the cupcake , he ate it with expressions , bahaha. After closing , we headed home. On the way back AyEffAyDee♥ called up, he wanted to meet me. He wanted to talk , he knew if he called and tried to talk about it i won't bother to listen. So yeah , around 4am he arrived, i cried after he went back.

On Sunday, was boring and dull. Woke up late , ate lunch , study Sejarah and then Aten called up , she was on her way here , i was effin happy though to see her , teheee ;) After so long , sheeeesh i miss her :'( sobsob. Then school started , hoho it was okay but yet i slept in class today , the last day of school for this week , haish . That's all i can talk about i guess , pretty boring ay. I gotta go , it's 4am and i'm fucking sleepy , gdnght <3

You know i hate you bitch :) and you should know who you are .

Here we go again ,

It's happening again. The time when i'll look back and no one's there. I'll stand on my own and not counting on anyone to pull me up or lift my spirits. No more, what the hell is bestfriends if you don't even get concerned about the so called bestfriend? Who are you kidding? Bestfriends know what to do or to say when a friend is in need and feeling down. Willing to do try the best to fix the situation. But if you barely bother , don't even think about calling yourself a friend :) Cause seriously , i no longer count on anyone and i think i'm better off this way. Why should i care about people who barely cares about me , it's just a waste of my time and tears. Let them have their own fabulous life and let me live on my own. I've got no one and i'm trying my best to cope with it. You can say what a loser or such a sobber or hah in your face you loner, but seriously at least i don't cheat , backstab or betray a friend and at least i do keep my promises as a bestfried and at least i do care about my friends. It's just them that doesn't appreciates me as much as i appreciate their presence. Who the fuck cares , i'm sure they don't :) So listen , stop calligng refering to yourself as a bestfriend if you don't mean it, i'm sick and tired of that sort of attitude :) Thank you .

Brother from another mother ,

Say hello to RAES AREF :)

I knew him from MySpace , pfth. Yeah and then we met in OU i think, then he fell inlove with my sister from another mother. And since that he became a brother to me, very annoying one indeed -.- Trust me people, having him as a brother is way different then having him as a friend, i'll tell you why later :) He lives in TTDI , likes foosball , likes girls , likes going to OU , such a lazy ass, he is now 17 years old but perasan dah masuk college pfthh , Suka pau adik kesayangan dia which is ME :) He thinks he's funny while actually he's just annoying. He keeps bragging that he's goodlooking cause i accidentally told him that i think he was hot the first time i met him, refer to the WAS , past tense :) He can't be serious even for a minute. He laughs at my jokes but then he'll say it's not funny WHILE he's laughing , stupidddd -.- He keeps saying he wants to hit me , but he never does , instead he'll ask someone else to do so. He'll for sure stop bugging me if i treat him spaghetti. And he won't stop asking for Skyline , he says i owe him that. Yeah , in his dreams :) Oh most of all, he screams like a girl which he doesn't want to admit , it's okay abang , people will understand ;p Well now as you can see , he is the most annoying human being on earth. I always feel like strangling his head till he turns blue when ever i talk to him. He gives me headaches and also made me cry , YOU MEANIE ! But why are you listening to only the bad stuffs i'm saying about him? He made me cry for happiness , he made me stand back up , he'll be serious when i ask him to , he never fails to cheer me up , he'll always lift my spirits up and never gives up to do so, he'll make sense in ever of his excuse if he forgets my birthday, he never hits me cause he loves me :) , he screams like a girl but he can be a very protective brother, well yes he is good looking pfth i hate to admit it but yeah. He says if i was ever in Makbul or Rasta even at 3am , he'll run there in his pyjamas , i dont know if he even wears PJ's but yeah it's sweet. i barely meet him that often , but when we do he'll give out the best hugs. He never gets bored of listening to my problems and he keeps trying his best to solve it. And you know why having him as a brother is way better? First , being his girlfriend will be too confusing , only i know why :) Second, he'll treat you like a real sister , tease you and make you cry but somehow he knows the best way to cheer you up. Lastly, he treats me way better then a friend , that's for sure :)

Icky : Come on just imagine it , if i was lying on the hospital bed , and only got 24 hours to live.
Raes : I'll ask my mom for the car keys and say " Kawan raes dah nak mati "
Icky : hahahahahhahahahaha okay continue , if you dah dekat hospital .
Raes : I'll go buy chocalates first ,
Icky : i'm dying and all you could buy for me is chocalates.
Raes : bukan untuk you , it's for me Hahahahhahahahahahhahaha okay now that's funny
Icky : shut up lah , i hate you
Raes : okay okay chill lah , i'll run up to the nurse tanya mana FATIN dini afiqah , and then masuk bilik and just stare at you.
Icky : just stare ? wow -.-
Raes : Dah la , i can't really imagine if that really happened okay.
Icky : ala why not , imagine je lah.
Raes : Cause i don't want to imagine that,
Icky : AWWWWWWWWWW YOU LOOOOOVE ME :')
Raes : haha i dah agak dah , bodoh ah you.

Yeah, so yeah conclusion is , he's the best and yeah i love you brothaaa :D


P/S : i am not that bad Raes :) I told you so.

Shut up ,

Someone i knew since 2007 :) He keeps reminding me that he knows me for 3 years , but sadly in this 3 years we never met, at all. But still , he gives me enough love and treats me.... well , sometimes i feel like kicking him in the balls for being such a jerk , and sometimes i feel like hugging him real tight. So you do the thinking of how he treats me.

He said : I dah suka you dari you budak kecik lagi , yes you form 1 time tu. Tapi you selalu ada jantan lain , i pon dah malas. So i pon taknak rosak kan situation. I dah la cepat bosan kalau couple , so baik kita stay mcm ni kan ? I sayang you (: You sayang i tak ? Kau jangan nak gatal mainkan aku eh .

Yes , it's you AFD♥ always have and always will.
Kau jangan nak menggatal sangat eh. Aku sayang kau .

Make a wish baby ,

Icky says : Today was another boring day for me :) Woke up earlier then i did 2 days ago, went downstairs and checked if anyone's home. And sadly , i found out i was the only one awake and Mama was out. So i went back up , took my phone and checked messages. There was 4 messages, from Azril, FarhanIdzmi, FarhahAmani and AmirulAshraf. Then i turned on the music, tidy up my bed and then i grabbed my towel and rushed to the showers. After getting myself cleaned, i had breakfast then started with my science. Yeah finished another book, yeay me :) And here i am blogging , i told you it's boring. Well whatever, guess what day is it today ? :)
March 16th♥

Happy Sweet 16 Wan Noor Faradawina♥

Well, sadly i'm not there with you. I'm going through shits which i wish to end now. Whatever it is , you're older now :) 2 years of friendship ay , and yeah still counting baby. I can still remember the first time we met, lol yeah terkejut gak aa you lagi pendek en ;p But damn, it's as if we've known forever. Then we got closer and closer♥ More sleepovers and more memories kept. Getting drunk at Fly.FM last year, laughing gas at alamanda, sleeping together in a supersingle bed, sayang you can dance ;p, our songs three cheers for five years, fall for you, bila rindu, i dont want you back, a lonely september & fuck you right back, go to kl in two days straight , haaa tarahal :) Damn , we've been through so much together. Our parents know each other and my dad wants me to be like you. You know the 8A's part. Hell yeah , even you want me to beat that. Sheeeeeesh, i'm trying my best if you don't notice lah kan. People people , about her. She's awesome , she's crazy, she's adorable especially bila buat puppy dog eyes, she gets bored easily so make sure you're funny and entertaining, she likes dunhill lights and KENT, she likes partying and dancing, she likes playing the guitar and she loooves ME :D hahahahhaha , i love you baby♥ Oh btw , eeeee dah tua !