I could really use a wish right now ,

Yeah , it's me again

I'm finally back. It's been a while since i last went online , fuhh. Remember that drastic changes i was talking about ? Yeah , it's not as easy as i thought it would be. A lot more need to be fixed and i hope i can go through this alone. I am now on my own , i think.

I'm starting to think more than i ever did , and honestly it's messing with my emotions , zzz. What a drag , i know right. Life has been bumpier than ever , until i decided for this drastic changes that is. Well , it's not going pretty smooth but heck i'm trying , for God sake's -.- Nobody said it was easy , nobody said it wouldn't hurt. It hurts more than just too much infact.

All that has made me figure out load other stuffs to do. As all of you can see , i've deleted my Facebook and no longer using my MySpace ( i stopped using MySpace since February , heh ) . I'm sticking to only MSN for now. I need to get away from the crowd just so i could go on with this drastic change. Since i got so many freetime , i've been reading a lot of books . Mama supports me in this one though , she's been buying me new books every now and then. Yeay (?) Finally am starting to learn play the guitar , on my own . Thank you Youtube and guitar chords book (Y) Not only that , i'm starting to write and scribble again. Even bought a new journal , hello there new buddy. And i am now officially inlove with Addmaths and accounts. I've been making love with em everynight :B Pretty good start for a change...right ?

Holidays is coming to an end , and surprisingly i'm excited for school . I miss 4E and the crowd in the canteen during recess. I miss almost everything about school. 4 days seems longer than it ever did. *sigh*

I've said enough for now. I just hope everything will go smooth , enough bumpy rides. It's starting to make me feel sick :s

Drastic changes needed

Ive been going up and down on these rollercoaster ride life of mine. Going through drama day by day , different types every day. Starting to get sick of it. But heck i'm glad i have all of them with me :) Respect has been the biggest issue lately. Just because you're age is older than anyone else , doesn't mean only you deserve the respect. Everyone else does too , so quit judging people about respect if you yourself don't respect others. Honestly , i wouldn't be rude if you know how to mind your words yourself. Put your brain back up in to your head , it would be useful by now.

I've been spending time with Aten a lot this week. She came over 3 days in a row and i felt better seeing her. Getting to actually talk to her. We were on the bed when we suddenly think back of the times when we were in 2006. Lol , it cracked us up till we rolled on the bed. Finally we could catch up all the things we've missed over the years. I'm glad she's moving to my school :) Yeayy for me , bahaha. To top all the fun , i've got some job from Pn Shima. Yeap she wants me to write poetry for the school magazine , yeah how very disturbing. I've been so empty so i don't have any fucking idea what to write about , help -.- I'll be needing some drastic changes in my life , so wish me luck pals , xxx

Baby , baby , noo .

Baby baby baby ooohhh , i thought you'd always be mineeeee :O Yes please someone , anyone , get that song out of my head , zzz -.-

It's been a while ay bloggie ? Sorry baby hihi , been too caught up with all the drama going on. I plan to not waste my sweet sweet short life. Yeah exactly , cause it's too sweet and too short. I don't really wish to entertain dramas and scenes anymore. It's just too much , enough is enough , let's put a fullstop riiiiight here. At least i don't bitch talk about my bestfriends though ;) karma is a bitch , and it sure is pure pleasure. And everyone goes through the same shit , let's not make this just about you , okay ? If it happened to you , surely it'll happen to me too. And at that time , it will be my problem , no longer yours to bother :)

Well i woke up around 11 something , then felt the eager to have Spicy Chicken Mcdeluxe , yes fat fat fat fat , i dont caaare :) So i called up McDelivery and tadaa there it was. But the stupid Delivery Boy didn't have change for 50 , zzz so i had to wait for almost an hour till he came back with the exact amount of change -.- While waiting , suddenly Azril passed by , so i had a small chat with him along with some cigarettes , and a cup of coke. He cracked me up , crackhead . Then later when i got in the house , I got a suprise call from Isa , hell yeah it's been ages since we both actually talked. I miss that goofball :-) And today just turned out dull as usual . I'm now webcaming with my BabyAmaaaa♥ and msn-ing with Izzat. Will be calling Nadiah Kiddo later , hihi gossip girl xoxo hahaha. I had a nice talk with Mush last night , thanks for dropping by big brotha♥ And Sasa and Po , thanks for having my back , appreciate it loads. I told you i have a sweet sweet short life :-)

And dear you , hope you're satisfied . I chose to surrender , just for the sake of your happiness.

A past lover

Hey there , yeah you.
I've never thought i'd actually lose you. I never though i'd see you walk away just like that. I never thought you'd actually ask me to be just a friend. And i never thought you'd slip through my fingers. I admit i screw up , big time. The biggest mess i've ever caused. I shouldn't have just held on to you when you were trying to reach me. I lost my chance , karma's a bitch. I'm sorry i'm immature , a school kid remember , i can't think straight yet. I'm sorry i've been a mess in your head and your life. I'm sorry i've been rude and disrespect to your friends. I'm sorry i've never really listened to you. I'm sorry i've never made you happy. I'm sorry i've never showed any love. I'm sorry i've never understand your situation. I'm sorry i've been causing too much pain. I'm sorry i've been causing too much trouble. I'm sorry i never really did anything good. I'm sorry i've been selfish and self centered. I'm sorry i rely too much on you. I'm sorry i ask for too much attention from you. I'm sorry i ask for so many things you obviously can't do. I'm sorry i've never been a good girlfriend. I'm sorry i made you cry. I'm sorry i made you mad. I'm sorry for even showing up in your life. I'll remember our songs , i'll remember our car rides , i'll remember our movies , i'll remember our nights in AC , in section 2 and kedai kopi. I'll remember your hugs and kisses. I'll remember every single bit of your effort to impress me. I'm sorry i never realized all that ;( I'll definitely remember you as who you are. Your laugh , your smile , your sleepy voice and the way you say those 3 words i'll miss the most . I hope you'll find someone better than me. I love you , i really do. It hurts me to be just a friend. I'm sorry.

Full steam ahead ,

Immature girl coming through :) I've screwed up a lot lately , and i'm trying not to think too much. Pfthhh good luck with that huh -.-

Exam is over and yeah i don't think it'll turn out good. Addmaths and BM was fucking hard , i swear. And MSSD is now going on. I've been going to the stadium the whole week , tiring as hell. Lompat Jauh is coming up on Tuesday so wish me luck people (: It was good to meet Aleppo this past 2 days , hoho he's still not over with the rawrr thingy , sheesh -.- Today's training went out okay , Haziq and me past 4.5m , yeay (?) Half of the team didn't come to training , they were at the stadium for rugby , till now i think. T is also there , hm . I haven't been blogging lately cause i don't think i should write what's going on lately. Too much mess , i screwed up more than twice i think. Yeah sucks to be me at this kind of time. But i'm fine , not super fine , but yeah okay. I can still laugh my ass off though. That's a good thing , right ?

I miss my girls :( Aten Tyka NINA Weyna Amaa and Azra , hmmm it's been long , very wrong actually. Missing loads of people , won't bother to list down , they know who they are :)

Sincerely,
Icky;