Not anymore

Don't you just miss back then in kindergarten ? Or maybe before you entered highschool life ? Well, I do. A lot.

When I was 4 , I went to some chinese kindergarten in Kajang. It looked like a castle , colorful castle that is. Huge , and a swimming pool on the rooftop. Think back , I have no idea why the hell I cried my ass off hugging my mom's leg, begging not to leave me. That place was a place any girl would ever wish for. But I was terrified somehow. With all the crowd , unknown people and having the thought of making friends. But then came up one sweet chinese girl. Her name is Mei Li Chua. She introduced her self and I was surprised when she held my hands and walked with me to class. She was my bestfriend. The only thing that ended our friendship was that I had to move to Johor. Not because of betraying. Not because of hypocrisy. Not because of some bitch or asshole. No, all that didn't exist in my life dictionary , not yet.

When I was 8, I settled down in Sabah. I was nervous for my first day. Thinking maybe I wouldn't fit in or maybe I wouldn't understand what they were saying. Well, obviously I was wrong. I was welcomed. Then a girl raised her hand to inform the teacher that there's an empty seat beside her. Her name is Maizatul Akma. Yes , her curly hair tied in a pony tail , really fair skin and real round eyes. She is my bestfriend. And again , the only thing that separate us was the fact I had to move here, Shah Alam. But the 2 years friendship lasts till today. In 2007 I went back to Sabah for a vacation. I could still remember her number. I dialed the digits then she picked up and surprisingly she recognized my voice. 4 years and she could still remember. I'm glad I still have her as a friend till today and I hope someday I would get to meet her again.

But as we grow up, all we aim for is to impress people. Finding the right shit to do so that we would fit in with the latest trend. We have to party all day , go out at night , and have an amount of friends so we would be labeled as cool. Like being average is some sort of a disgrace , like a humiliation. Then again, think back , who are we trying to impress? What is there for us to win? In the end it's all going to come to a huge amount of waste! Bitch and backstab just to impress people with all the cool gossips. Fake a scene so that people would notice. Trying to be on top so that people know you're keeping up with the trend. Tell me , and then what? Are all those people going to be the friends that would stick up to you through your shits? Would those people stand infront of a bullet for you? Fuck it, hell no. Being proud of the shits you do ain't bringing you anywhere. Sure, you smoke weed, drink alcohol everynight and you make people think your parents doesn't care you go out at night. Yeah, you think it's cool. Yeah, people say you're fun. But how long can you keep up with all that? Until when are you going to keep on impressing people? One day, the trend changes and what you're doing would seem like 'so-last-year'. And it goes all over again and again. What the fuck.

And trying to impress a boy/girl by being someone you are not, is not going to make that relationship last. Sweet talkers are every where and sex maniacs are also loitering around the world. Boys who just want to keep up his standards would look for a girlfriend with gorgeous looks without bothering who she really is. Girls who just want to keep up her standards would look for a guy that's rich , owns a car with a face that would melt even your mother even if he is an asshole. And they just come and go without even thinking how bad it would hurt someone. Again, we still have to IMPRESS. Damn it.

Somehow I wish i could be 4 years old again. I don't even understand the meaning of betray. I don't even know what a bitch is. I don't even know how a broken heart feels like. I didn't even know where babies came from. Most of all, I don't have to impress and satisfy any blood sucking hypocrites. It would be nice just to go back to that time. But then again..

Not gonna happen.

This is just my point of view, how I feel. No need to get offended or hating on this post. It's just a thought, get it ?

Icky♥